You've Got it Bad

Seventy Four

Jade's POV

"Babe, these are my friends Jade and Perrie." Leigh smiled, leaning on Audrey's shoulder. "Girls, this is my girlfriend Audrey." I felt sick to my stomach for many reasons.

Babe?

"Hi, nice to meet you!" Perrie was the first to reach out to shake her hand and I clenched my jaw. My baby is so outgoing and sweet all the time, sometimes to a fault. Seeing that bitch putting her hands on her made my blood boil.

Perrie nudged me again, but I didn't speak. I couldn't trust my own mouth to not curse her the hell out. There was a lot of history between us and seeing her face reminded me of all of it. Both Perrie and Leigh, unaware of any of it, looked at me.

Perrie cleared her throat. "And this is my wife, Jade."

"I'm sorry. I spaced out. Nice to meet you." I said, trying to alleviate some of the awkwardness. She smiled at me and I wanted to slap it off her face.

Back when we were together, she was awful. I was weak and vulnerable and alone, and the list of things I hated about myself was a mile long. She came along and pretended to care and I fell for it. And of course, I was so desperate to be loved, so I fell for her. She was so sweet and kind to me at first, but it was like as soon as I fell for her, she changed.

She got mean. And cruel. And verbally abusive. All of  the insecurities that I cried to her about, and that she pretended to care about, she played on them and threw them back in my face whenever she got the chance. She used them to break me down and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why. Or what I had done to make her flip on me the way she did. I was so in love with her, and I thought she was too. I just couldn't understand. But then again, you never really do with people like that.

I'd been getting yelled at and talked about my whole life, and she knew that. But it was like her aim was to see if she could beat everyone else. Like she was in her own race of who could hurt me the most.

She was always yelling and screaming at me and calling me things that at the time, I didn't know any better not to believe. She was one of the first reasons I tried to kill myself. But she didn't stop there. She was evil. It was like she was determined to push me beyond that point.

Then, as if her bullying wasn't enough, she started to cheat, and basically blame me for it. I couldn't leave. I didn't even know how, and she used that against me too. And then she started to get physical.

She always wanted to fight, and she would always yell at me to fight back but I never could. I didn't know how to do that either, so it was always just her hitting me. Finally, after she had done all she could to rip me apart, she left me. With a whole lot of fear, baggage and trust issues.

And here she is smiling in my damn face. She should be in in jail somewhere, or a mental institution. Who knows how many women she's abused from then until now. I can't let her do that to Leigh and I believe she would try. I don't believe anything has changed. Then again, maybe it was just because I was an easy target. A walking bullseye for any and everyone to aim at. No. That's still no excuse.

Leigh is a cop and I'm sure she can defend herself. For that reason alone, I wouldn't be worried about her, but she's so sweet and selfless. And she said she loved her. Not only that, she was in love with her and that's scary. Love is blind, and I don't want Leigh going through that and getting hurt and trying to justify any of it with love.

She has babies too, who need her to be 100%. Not broken and battered. They're watching. Like it or not, they're going to learn how to love and be loved from watching their mother. That's why I never knew.