You've Got it Bad

Forty Eight

Jade's POV

The next couple of days, I had trouble sleeping. I tried my best to hide it from Perrie, because I didn't want her to worry, but nearly every time I closed my eyes something bad happened.

Either I was shot, she was shot, or I was shooting someone. There was even one where I was the one who shot Perrie and it shook me to my core.

Since then, I was terrified to go to sleep, so I just held her until she fell asleep and then laid in bed staring up at the ceiling until I couldn't anymore. Then I would fall asleep for a few minutes and boom, there was another nightmare.

They would come occasionally over the past months and I would just deal with them, but over the past few days they've been nonstop. I get a bad feeling I can't shake and I don't know why.

I was currently sitting in bed, looking down at Perrie and watching her sleep for who knows how long, when she started to stir.

"Good morning, babe." She said, as she stretched adorably.

"Morning, baby girl." I smiled at her.

She's always so beautiful, but something about her first thing in the morning mesmerized me.

She got up and went into the bathroom and I watched the door the whole time. Literally counting the seconds until I could see her beautiful face again.

When she came back to bed after a few minutes, she kissed me with minty fresh breath and wrapped herself back in the covers.

"How long have you been awake, baby?" She asked softly, smiling up at me. I shrugged, not wanting to tell her the truth.

"I was up all night, thinking about how I—we can get ahead of this thing. Thanks to Leigh, he doesn't know we know what he's trying to do yet." I sighed, brushing my hand across her cheek.

She really is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. Inside and out.

"I'm going to ask you something, because I love you and there's no one in the world I trust more than you. You don't have to agree to this if you don't want, and I won't be upset if you say no." I said as I nervously fiddled with a loose thread on our blanket.

"What is it, baby?" She looked up at me, patiently waiting for me to say what was so hard for me to say. I could tell she was getting nervous.

My eyes raked over the furniture in our bedroom. I don't know why it was so hard for me to ask her this. Maybe it's my fear that she'll actually say no.

"Listen. I've thought about this before and I'm asking you this for many reasons. It just so happens that it's a lot more urgent right now." I said. "I love you more than anything, Perrie. You know that. More than anything."

"Jade, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" She sat up in bed and looked at me.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to scare you. I guess I'm just scared." I grabbed her hand. "I don't really know which way this whole situation is going to play out. I'm hoping for the best, but I'd be irresponsible to ignore the possibility of it all going south. Perrie, if anything happens to me, I need to know that Jaden will be okay. I need to know that he'll be taken care of by someone I trust and someone who loves him, and not thrown around from place to place. I know it's a lot to ask, but I want to know if you'd be okay with me making you his legal guardian."

She didn't say anything, she only looked at me and I couldn't read her eyes, which scared me to death. I was so nervous.

"I-if you don't want—" I went on, ready to break into tears, but quickly stopped my sentence when I saw a tear fall from her eye. "Why are you crying? Please don't cry. I'm sorry. I didn't—"