You've Got it Bad

Nineteen

Jade's POV

Jaden and I left the apartment, heading for the hospital. There wasn't anywhere else to go, and Mrs. Edwards was the only person I trusted. She didn't ask too many questions, which I appreciated. I assumed it was because she'd already had enough on her plate.

"I'm sorry, Jade." She said softly when I called her from the parking lot. "Perrie hasn't improved, but she hasn't gotten any worse, either. You should come inside."

I hesitated. The thought of stepping into that hospital with all of this guilt weighing me down felt impossible, but I didn't have a choice. I still needed her help.

"Would you mind if Jaden sat with you for a little while?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady. "He shouldn't be any trouble. I just... I need to take care of something."

"Of course, dear. He'll be fine with me. You go do what you need to."

I thanked her, and once Jaden was settled with her, talking her ear off about toys and action figures, I made my way back to the apartment.

I was grateful for the fact that it was starting to get dark outside, so at least I wouldn't easily be seen. Still, my heart raced the entire drive. My knuckles were white as I gripped the steering wheel, and my chest felt tight and achy. Every shadow looked like a cop, and every set of headlights felt like they were following me.

I parked in the back of my apartment building, killed the engine, and sat there for a minute, trying to steady myself. My hands wouldn't stop shaking.

"You can do this." I whispered to myself, closing my eyes. "You have to do this."

I swung the car door open and barely made it two steps before I doubled over, throwing up behind one of the bushes. My stomach was empty, but the dry heaving wouldn't stop. When it finally did, I wiped my mouth, straightened up, took a deep breath, and walked toward the building.

The apartment felt eerily cold and quiet when I stepped inside. I was really thankful for the fact that I had the AC cranked before I left, because who knows what it would smell like in here.

I just stood there and stared at the wall, and for a second, I thought about turning around and leaving. Maybe I could just pretend none of this had happened.

But then my eyes landed on the door at the end of the hallway.

It's now or never, Jade.

I stood in the doorway of my bedroom, once again frozen as I stared at my blood-soaked mattress and Jimmy's lifeless body sprawled across it. My legs felt like they were about to give out beneath me, and my breathing had become erratic.

What in the hell did I do?

I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself, but the image of him lying there was burned into my brain. I saw it even with my eyes closed. My hands started to shake again, and I gripped the doorframe until my knuckles turned white.

You can't panic, Jade. Not now. You have to fix this. You have to.

The thought of jail tightened around my throat like a rope. I couldn't go to jail. I couldn't leave Jaden without me. He needed me. I was all he had.

But I had no idea what I was doing.

I'd seen people clean up murders in movies and TV shows, but that didn't prepare me for the actual sight or smell of real blood. The metallic smell was so strong that I could taste it.

The mattress was drenched, the blood staining everything around it. It didn't even look like a bed anymore. It looked like... like a crime scene, which I guess technically it was.