We all have our masks [Twenty One Pilots]

Chapter Twenty Seven: Ants

"Will you tell me what happened?"

Josh's muffled voice came from the door frame, and Lena looked up, only half surprised. Only his head was showing, the rest of his body hidden behind the door as if he wasn't sure he was allowed to enter. The girl sat down on her bed, shrugging.

"Nothing. It was nice and-" she started, trying to pretend everything was all right. But Josh was smarter than that, and he interrupted her.

"Oh, cut it off." he exclaimed, before dropping it down a notch while entering the room and closing the door behind him. "I can see something went wrong, and Tyler's pretending to be asleep already." Josh took a few steps towards the bed and sat down on the edge. "It's barely 11! And you expect me to believe that everything's fine?"

Lena chuckled and shifted before sighing, hiding her face in her hands. Of course, Josh would notice. Josh always noticed, and Lena had to admit Tyler and she hadn't been really good at pretending that their night went as fine as they'd hoped. 

Well, it had started fine, and Lena had enjoyed it, really, up until the point where Tyler tried to kiss her and she backed away. She still didn't know why she did that, because something in her really wanted to know what his lips felt like. But a wave of anxiety had crept through her body as soon as he got close enough, and she had chickened out.

She thought that maybe, it was going a little too fast for her. They had just had a fight the day before, and they didn't know each other that well. She wasn't sure that rushing things would be a great way to start a relationship. 

But who talked about relationship anyway? Maybe it was just for fun? Maybe Tyler didn't really think this through, and maybe he'd realize this wasn't what he really wanted? Maybe's were filling up Lena's head, and she couldn't really comprehend what was real and what was not.

Immediately after that, Tyler had looked so hurt that she immediately apologized, but it was too late already. He'd stood up quickly, looking away as much as he could to avoid Lena's eyes.

"Better get going, it's late anyway" he had mumbled before swiftly walking away to the car, leaving Lena alone with her thoughts and her heart racing.

As quickly as she could, she had gathered the stuff Tyler didn't bother to pick back up and had followed him. He was already sitting in the driver's seat, hands on the steering wheel, and he started the engine as soon as she settled in her own seat. Lena desperately tried to make him look at her first, in vain because he was already starting to drive back home.

"Tyler, I-" she started in an apologizing tone, but he didn't let her finish.

"That's okay. Don't worry. Just forget it." His voice was low and cold. 

"Please, I'm sorry, just let me exp-"

"NO!" he yelled, violently smashing his hands on the wheel, making Lena jump out of surprise and the car swerve to the left. "No. There's nothing to explain." he said in a calmer voice now. "It's fine, okay? Let it go."

And the car fell silent for the whole drive home.

"Ouch," Josh commented after Lena explained everything that had happened. "But... why? I thought..."

"UGH" Lena sighed with frustration. She hid her face in her hands again, unable to provide Josh with a good enough explanation. 

She couldn't just tell him that she wanted that kiss to happen but chickened out at the last minute for no obvious reason. And even if she tried, she wasn't sure he'd understand perfectly the war that was going on in her head. So instead, she just shook it. She just wanted to sleep forever, just to avoid the next contact that would obviously come between Tyler and her.