We all have our masks [Twenty One Pilots]

Chapter Nineteen: Ichthus II

Lena opened her eyes to the sound of birds chirping and boys snoring. She didn't move for a while, just trying to focus on her surroundings. The morning light was peeking through the thin fabric of the tent. Slowly, she reached for her phone, lying on the ground next to her. It was almost seven. The boys didn't have to wake up early today since they were already on the festival grounds.

She didn't want to sleep anymore, and it's only when she tried to move that she realized she was still in Tyler's arms. And he didn't have a shirt on. She gasped, not remembering when he might have taken it off. The tent was pretty hot, now that she thought of it, and Tyler's body seemed to release waves of heat. She wondered how he managed to get rid of his t-shirt without waking her up, but quickly reminded herself that she could sleep through a tsunami without flinching.

She hoped Tyler wasn't a light sleeper when she started to untangle their legs. Sleep made you do weird things sometimes. She would never have dared to get that close to him when she was awake, but somehow her sleeping body thought it was a great idea. Well, she couldn't complain. For a split second, she even contemplated the idea of stroking Tyler's bare chest. She bet his skin was soft. But her brain got back to reality and she just shook that thought away.

Careful not to wake him up, Lena withdrew her body from the sleeping bag, but the task wasn't that easy and she ended up tripping over herself.

"Shit" she whispered to herself, immediately facepalming at the idea that she would just ruin the boys' well deserved rest. She turned to face them all. Mark's mouth was slightly open, but he clearly wasn't the one snoring the loudest. She smiled at how quickly she had learned to love those guys, and started searching through her bag for some clothes to wear.

"Mh, what are you doing?"

Lena jumped at the sound of Tyler's voice and immediately looked up, but his eyes were still closed. She stayed silent for a minute, wondering if he was actually talking to her or just mumbling in his sleep. But his breathing kept its steady rhythm, so Lena decided it was the latter and headed for the outside world.

"No, where are you going?" Tyler moaned, moving in the sleeping bag this time. Lena smiled and kneeled down closer to him.

"Shh, go back to sleep. I'm just gonna go look for the showers and maybe find something to eat for later. Is that okay?" she asked, using her smoothest whispering voice. He nodded, still half asleep, a slight smile appearing on his lips. Lena had reached and opened the entrance of the tent when he spoke again.

"Careful out there, princess."

When Lena reached the showers, she was still smiling bright. Two hours later, she got back to the tent with two full grocery bags. Much to her surprise, Josh was sitting outside, wearing only black and yellow shorts and sunglasses that made him look really cool - like, rock star cool. He greeted her with his brightest smile and Lena wondered if he was squinting his eyes behind his shades - she tought it was the cutest thing ever.

"Are they still sleeping?" she asked nicely, to which Josh nodded while yawning.

"At least, Mark is. Tyler said he was going for a walk but honestly I think he was just desperately looking for you." He replied, grinning, before proceeding to rummage through the bags to find something that could fill the emptiness in his stomach.

Rolling her eyes at Josh's last remark, Lena sat down next to him and sighed while he was unwrapping a pack of Skittles. As much as she wanted to friendly judge his choice like a mother would do - because candies weren't the best choice for a healthy breakfast - she didn't feel like going into that right now. She still felt troubled by Tyler's confessions from last night.

He didn't go into the details of the story, and Lena didn't ask. She knew it was already a big deal for him to reveal that to an almost stranger, and she didn't want him to close up or feel like he was making things uncomfortable between them. She liked it when he opened up to her. She just wished it wasn't for such awful memories.

"Luckily, we're already snuggling, or I would have smothered you into the biggest hug ever" she had whispered, trying not to let her voice break from the emotion he had triggered in her. As a reaction, his hand had pressed against her back a little more. Then, as he was still lying in silence, she added. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Tyler. I wish I had some kind of magic trick to ease your pain but I know that's impossible and you just gotta learn to live without that piece of your heart that's missing."

She had felt him sigh, his belly rising up before his breath swept away a streak of hair on her forehead. She wanted to comfort him, but how? She wasn't really sure he loved physical contacts, even though they were actually pretty close. But it wasn't like she could get any closer anyway. So instead, she just grabbed his hand that was resting on his abs and rubbed it softly before intertwining their fingers.

"Know that you can just, you know, hold on to me whenever you feel like it, okay?" she had murmured in a shaky breath. He had just nodded, probably unable to speak more, but she had felt his hand tighten the grip on hers like they had just made a deal.

"He told you, didn't he?" Lena got back to reality, turning her head towards Josh so fast that her neck hurt a bit. She furrowed her eyebrows. She wasn't sure what he was referring to, although she had an idea of what it could be.

"About Leah? He said he told you about her suicide..." he added, his voice toned down a bit. Lena thought it was funny how people always had to lower their voices when talking about death. She understood where it came from, but she had always found it weird. But that wasn't the main focus of her brain.

"Leah?" she asked, confused. She searched her memories for a single clue Tyler might have given her last night about his dead friend being a girl, but she couldn't find anything. "I had no idea it was a girl. But hey, it's not like the detail matters anyway, right?" she added, looking back up to Josh.

His face turned bright pink and he looked away, pretending to focus on sorting his Skittles by color on the palm of his hand. When he was done, ultimately, he held out his hand for Lena to pick a candy, but she just shook her head, waiting for an answer. Josh sighed, surrendering.

"Ok, maybe I shouldn't tell you, because I thought he had told you everything already but..." He took a deep breath. "Leah was his girlfriend."