We all have our masks [Twenty One Pilots]

Chapter Thirty Three: Time to say Goodbye

"Ready?"

Slouched in the couch, Lena looked up to Josh, still regretting the cab. She'd have rather gone that way, avoiding the hurtful goodbyes and possible tears. But Josh had insisted, and Mark had even taken it upon himself to call the cab company to cancel.

Lena appreciated it, really. But it was making things so much more difficult for her. She hadn't slept at all that night. She had even pondered the idea of going to Tyler's room one last time, but she knew that he was still mad at her and guessed that a last talk wouldn't make things better. If anything, she was even scared that another discussion would make it worse.

Getting up, Lena looked around the living room one last time. It was a little messy, but she liked it. The worn out cushions. The broken window that the boys had tried to fix with tape. The pile of CD's in the corner. That brand new tv that stood out from the overall vintage vibe of the room. She loved every bit of that place. And she was leaving it.

With a sigh, she followed Josh outside, re-living her last words with Tyler. He had been hurtful, and what he said had been like a punch in Lena's guts. It had taken her breath away, so much that she hadn't been able to explain herself farther. In a sense, she wasn't really mad at him. She could understand where he came from, and she couldn't blame him for thinking that she was just too insecure.

The fact was that Lena was ridiculously insecure. How could she think she was in competition with a dead girl? That was nonsense, and part of her wished she could just brush that feeling away. But that's not how brains work, and hers seemed to find some comfort in fleeing from situations that were simply asking for a little bit of trust, in herself or others.

Stepping outside in the cold morning air, she automatically walked towards the grey Prius that belonged to Mark. She figured they would be using that car and not the minivan that was way too big for the few of them and Lena's tiny suitcase. But it seemed like the boys had something else in mind.

Mark had already opened the side door of the van and was waiting for Lena and Josh, one foot on the inside. "I thought you'd feel more comfortable here. Used to be your home too, after all..." he said with a smile, and his tone was so enthusiast that Lena just had to smile back. Inside, though, her guts were churning and making painful knots.

A few minutes later, the three of them were packed on the wide front seat and on their way to the airport. Silence took over for a while, and Lena tried not to think of all the memories lingering around in the backseat where she fell asleep so many times. Outside, trees and houses were melting into a blurred landscape that Lena was leaving behind. Slowly, she let her mind wander into the what-if's and but's that had been annoying her all night.

A brutal brake woke her up from her nightmarish reverie as Mark avoided, under Josh's "CAT!" scream, a kitten crossing the road, inattentive to the world outside. The little creature seemed to loosen tongues inside the car.

"Remember when I almost ran over that big guy the night we took you in?" Mark asked as Josh was still awing at the furry ball now jumping over a picket fence.

Lena snorted. Of course she remembered. It was her very first ride with the guys. She didn't know them at all - one of them was even acting a bit bitchy about her joining - but somehow something had told her she would be safe with them. And indeed, she quickly felt safer than ever before. She could now call those guys her friends, and even though she had decided to leave the country, she didn't think they would leave her heart.

The anecdote sparked a trip down memory lane, and memories and other fun stories started flowing out everyone's mouth, soon followed by a happy tear or two.

"Oh and remember when Tyler-" Mark started, but something in his face changed at Tyler's name and he quickly shot a nervous glance at Lena. "Oh, sorry..."