Accepting what I cannot

In the span of a high

Pretty colors hit my face

Cool air, car window, thinking of the wrong place

Ghost kisses wake me up in a cold gaze

Does he remember our favorite play?

They personified a man's core and named him Mr. Hyde

I realized I was nothing like the character my inner voice described

So, I screamed inside my brain to let my neighbors sleep

So, they can pay me for their dreams and give thanks to my weed

I miss the shade of happy your eyes get when we are breathing in our youth

Trying not to hoard it because I know you are going to need some to

For you I will fall into another sky

And you can pull me back before a collision kills our concept of time

I am going to wake up phone in hand

And read my words so I can understand

Why a radio feels like a car ride

Why I woke up on the rug if I was typing last night

Why tap water tastes like I am going to die

Denying the filters became the reason to stay alive

You are not here to fix the bed springs

But if you want, I'd like to visit you in your dreams

And maybe if I get eight hours of sleep on my own, I will wake up in your bed

And I will wake up knowing how to dust out my own head

And I will do it for me if I can do it for you

I will learn to shut up, but I wish you would tell me to

You are not here to claw inside

And make your way between my thighs

Wet and dumb off love

A vibration is not a tongue, a machine does not hold you after you are done

I cannot even masturbate... I am too sad I am not being held

Sitting in my mind's corners learning how to never go to hell

And when I do, I can still breathe

I can avoid the aftermath of kicked off sheets

When I want to be gasping and rolling my eyes

So, I can see the mess through the hurricanes eye

But the one I keep feeling is more powerful than life

Is tired from the root that connects my mouth to my mind