Accepting what I cannot

Spoiled child you need to listen

Lips stay pursed unless they want to spoon feed

If they say jump you ask how high and pray that you succeed

Bloody knuckles with my father he always seems to cheat

Gets pissed I cannot do it right and aims for my teeth

I inflict injury upon myself because you can't

I steal your belts and throw them in the trash

"you will eat shit if I so much as put it on your plate

You will eat what I cook, or you will taste soap for days"

Thirteen I am far too old to be sitting on his lap

So, he says "you are just like your mother you spoiled brat"

Thrown into the showers by my hair

Turns on the cold water and glares

Clothes I am to afraid to put on

I freeze naked in my room for answering his questions wrong

The juice stains my skin

I cannot dry off in the positions that he has put me in

Blunt objects destroy a pretty face

Disobedient little girl what a fucking waste

I burn cigarettes kisses into my own thighs

I will be damned if he is the one who decides whether I live or die

Decapitations like a broken record player in my head

A monster who preferred on over under my bed

Botched results of teen moms giving birth

Says if I choose to be a slut, I am going to get hurt

Hypocritical hands think they cannot be felt in the dark

The chills sent up my spine watching animal farm

War flashbacks put a knife to my stomach

He transfers visions of men with ropes around neck

And I am to be blamed until the alcohol kicks in

To drunk to tell myself I was a terrible kid

Even though he would humor himself putting vodka in my drinks

So, excuse my blackouts I just do not wish to think

Poison the child it will soften the blow

When they grow up to hate you so much you are left on your own

When they are not sure if they hate or pity their old man

What once was my worst fear is a pair of aging hands

Trembling because they no longer have control

It has been so long since they hit so they started to mold