Accepting what I cannot

Give me your mind

My name is "undiagnosed", but I call myself "denial"

Because they say autistic does not fully explain suicidal

Smacking myself to get some relief

They put checkmarks on paper until it spelled out bpd

And I learned I am not one with this planet

When its noises left my sanity damaged

Where I am from people are quiet

They talk one at a time and loud is perceived to be violent

Earth is full of metaphors

Sarcasm, and phrases we have all heard before

And the people do not want to repeat or explain

Because it ruins the meaning behind what they say

And I get it, but I feel so out of place

Unable to find the meaning behind their voice or their face

I have tried some of the drugs they wanted me to try

Literal or illegal it is up to you to understand the meaning and decide

So, I sip on a beverage to overstimulate my mind

Because that Is how people make income to do things like survive

But why am I seeing things meant for dreams

That only exist in the contents of books and tv screens

Why are the lights buzzing, why is everyone screaming?

My socks are too tight, and it is an unpleasant feeling

You deem it annoying; I deem it agonizing

You say these are things not worth over analyzing

Because the planet you sleep on not everything needs meaning

Yet I am here without a clue on why I am still breathing