Accepting what I cannot

My demons have their good days

Sweet baby cradled until she shuts her eyes

Hold her before I become the bad guy

Gun shot wounds make me an imperfect dad

Darling sweet daughter you are all that I have

Compared to your mother you feel softer

I will teach you that baby lambs are far easier to slaughter

You do not know how it feels when I switch back to me

Hate being a grown man sobbing for forgiveness on my knees

Let me baptize you so I can drown you in the water

You are the only innocence I have to offer to our heavenly father

This God complex it possesses me

I am the body the lord uses to breathe

I am the sinner living amongst the chosen

Immune to brittle bones being broken

Pull your shoulder from its socket

Make it click right back into place like the picture of my mother in a locket

Destroy the evidence until I forget

I am scared to sleep in my own bed

So, I crawl into yours with just my boxers

And change your perception of monsters

I love you so forgive me because I will only say it twice

Until I become the sting in your knife

Until I become your experimentation with drugs

Your fear when it comes to love

And I will pour myself into every one of your partners

Baby you must accept the fate of a martyr

I want to be the shotgun that scratches the back of your throat

The breath you lose when you ask to be choked

The bliss of death you ask to be close to

But never the ending of which you run to

Always and I mean always be afraid

Remember me in the pulls of your braids

Remember me when you kiss your blades

And how it will never feel the same

As when it was someone else that caused the pain

So, forget who I am and call me by my first name

I am not your dad I am your fucking hell

And I do not give a shit if you kill yourself

Go ahead and bleed out see if I care

If you will not be my bitch, then I do not want you there

Stupid woman I hope you are haunted by sentences of three

Hope making love makes you bleed

And I hope you know it is due to my sins

Because I had inhabited a body, I had no business being in

You are not my child just easy prey

Think I care whether you are gay?

Wish I pulled hard enough to rip the hair from your skull

My words were sharp my hits were dull

Worthless that is all that you are

And I have long written my name in each one of your scars