Desire

Thoughts followed by akwardness

You get in your car and drive home. What where you thinking? Why does it make you feel this way? Where are these feelings coming from? What's happening to you? What is going on?

So many questions that you just can't answer now...
She just made you want to risk it. Risk to break your friendship with her son which was really the contrary of what you would ever do. But she also seemed to want it. She liked it just as much as you did. You know it. You felt it.

But it also scared you that it made you remember your parents hugs. What did that mean? Was it because she was as old as them and it was more of a protective mother hug? Ewww what? You where crushing on a women and you were compering her to your mom?! What's the matter with you????

Fuck this.... You still have your essay to do. Man your 20 what are you doing...
It's moments like these that you question yourself, your life, everything. Your all alone, by yourself. You have no one...

You didn't finish your essay and that was the first time you would be late. You normally are pretty good at school and took it seriously since you're a bit "older". This was all because of HER. After some thinking you tell yourself that it might not necessarily be something negative. She was making you question yourself. *this is not always a bad thing*.

A few days pass. Dashiell missed the last two. He's sick. You only start at 1 pm so you told him that he could pass by to catch up the missed hours (you copied all the stuff you did in school).

You're having breakfast with your one night stand as the bell rings. "Sorry, one sec it'll be quick" you excuse yourself. You put on one of your oversized shirts and open the door. Your heart beat stops. You freeze. In front of you is the woman you've been thinking about for the last week. *oh shiiit*.

"Kim. Hi. I'm sorry I'm sure you didn't expect me to show up" Cate says. "Well... No I defently did not" you answer as you look back and whisper "fuck". "ehm why don't you come in..." you offer her. Thank god your one night stand went to your room to get dressed. But there are still 2 plates and 2 cups of coffee on the table that OF COURSE Cate saw.... "You have a lovely house. You live alone?" she asks innocently but you know she just wants to hear you say YES. And so you do "yes I live alone, why wouldn't I" it's not really a question. Maybe it's to show her that you're not That stupid. She interrupts your thoughts "I didn't want Dashiell to infect you or anything... And since he doesn't drive and everything. I figured it would be easier if I stepped by." she smiles. That's when Lilly comes out of your room that has it's door just behind the kitchen. *at least she's dressed* you tell yourself smirking. She puts her bag on the kitchen counter to hug you, you hug her back and tell her it was nice (because I'm well educated ;) ). She giggles and agrees with a big smile followed by a lip bite as she looks into your eyes. You give her a look and a wink as you lightly smack her ass as a motion to leave. She writes her number on your forearm and says "call me babe, I wanna do that again" she gives you a kiss which you did not see coming but you kiss her back. She takes her stuff and leaves. Cate who's watching feels a little jealousy crawl up in her. She didn't like to see you with another women.