Chapter 42 - Hard to find and impossible to forget

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How beautiful it feels when they want to know all about the worlds you hold inside of you.

- butterflies rising


"Eleanor, put these in the guest bedroom for Draco please, the elf has washed them", my mother said, handing me a stack of sheets and other bedding.

"Are we sure they're coming back? We haven't heard from them in over a week, mother", I said. I hadn't heard from Draco since he left with his mother and it made me feel anxious. What if something had happened to him? Why did he need Draco?

"If they do, they need a bed to sleep in, Eleanor, now go", she said, pushing me towards the stairs. I sighed, slumping up the large staircase made of old stone.

I didn't quite know what to feel. I just felt worried all the time and we were just a good week into July. Was this how the rest of the summer was going to be?

I opened the door to the guest bedroom. It was a bedroom next to mine, which I usually used for extra storage, but my mother had made the elf clear it out. If he ever came back, at least he was close.

It was eerily empty at Selwyn Keep. I hadn't noticed it before due to the presence of Narcissa and Draco, but my father's absence was notable, making everything feel just a little more lonely.

I made the bed, trying to make it look a little bit more like home. I looked for some candles and put some books on his nightstand. I didn't have any on Alchemy, but I found one about quidditch and one about dueling, which I knew he enjoyed too. I put an extra blanket on his bed and then stood there for a while, not sure what to do.

"Eleanor, your O.W.L. scores arrived!" My mother shouted. My eyes turned wide and in a couple seconds, I was back downstairs, grasping the letter from her hands.

"How often do I have to say this, stop running!" she hissed, before heading to the kitchen.

I tried to stop my hands from shaking as I carefully opened the envelope. There was a simple piece of parchment inside, all my courses listed beneath each other, the scores behind them. Nine O's and three E's, this was good. This was really good.

I looked up and smiled brightly. It's what I wanted, what I had worked for.

And I had no one to celebrate it with.

I put the letter on the dresser and dropped the smile. 

I spent the rest of the day reading in the library, which was usually how I spent my days. It was not very exciting, but I preferred the day over the night every time.

I had a lot of trouble sleeping lately and I knew it was because of the anxiety that I had redeveloped this past year. So I spent most of the night on my balcony in a blanket, looking at the starry night. I had learned almost all constellations by heart in the past week. I had nothing else to do anyway. I just sat there for a couple hours, until I was so tired that I knew I would fall asleep before starting to overthink.

And that night, that's exactly where I was, trying to spot the constellation of my star sign, Leo. There was a constellation called Draco. It couldn't be seen from where we lived, but it was out there somewhere, bright and proud.

I just hoped Draco Malfoy was out there somewhere too.

I had written to Tracey and Daphne today, but I didn't quite know what to say. The newspapers had been filled with dark events all week. Ollivander's had been destroyed, the Head of Magical Law Enforcement had been murdered, the Brockdale Bridge was destroyed, killing dozens of Muggles and Cornelius Fudge stepped down as Minister of Magic.

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