Fire & Ice - A Draco Malfoy fanfiction

Chapter 62 - That's very rude, you know, to steal?

It's scary how many people think they want to die when really, they want to start living.

- Duskbird

"Draco, are you in there?" I asked. He wasn't at breakfast today, causing me to feel the need to check in on him. I heard a stumble behind the door of his dorm room, but he didn't answer. I decided to just walk in anyway, like I usually did.

I felt relieved that I did find him in his room, but the relief soon turned into worry again. He was folding all his clothes, which I used to think was just him being brought-up well, but over the month that had passed since Easter, I had recognised it as a nervous tic. Whenever Draco was stressed, he'd clean his room or sort through his book case or start folding and refolding his clothes. He did it so compulsively that he didn't notice me coming in.

He was doing a whole lot better since before Easter break, eating and sleeping well, but the anxiety was something that I couldn't take away for him and something that only increased as the dreaded day neared. It didn't happen often, but sometimes he would panic, just by a little trigger.

"Hey, Draco?" I said as I closed the door behind me. I walked up to him and gently placed a hand on his arm. His eyes shot up and his hand was on his wand in no-time, but his look softened as his eyes met mine.

"Are you okay?" I asked, but he simply nodded and turned away. Grabbing the pot of ink from his nightstand. He took the cap and tried to screw it on, but his hands were shaking, making the task impossible. I watched him struggle as the knuckles holding the pot of ink turned white.

"For fuck's sake!" he shouted, throwing the pot to the other side of the room, catching me off guard. I had to calm him down.

"Draco, love, what's wrong?" I asked, stepping in front of him and grabbing both his wrists so he had to look at me. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. I gently let go of his wrists and put one hand on his cheek. He opened his eyes again, looking at me with a sad look in his eyes.

"What's going on?" I asked again, very softly to not pressure him.

"I'm fine", he mumbled. He clearly didn't feel like talking. He looked tired, as if he hadn't slept well tonight. It happened often, not because he went to bed late, but because he kept overthinking everything at night. I took his hand and brought it up to my lips, placing a small kiss on the back of it. His hands were cold, even though small beads of sweat pearled on his forehead.

And then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him, nuzzling his head in my hair. I gently rubbed his back, listening to his heart beat. There was very little I could do for him when he was feeling like this, except just being there for a while. It hurt me every time to think about the fact that during most of the previous months, he didn't have anyone to calm him down.

"I love you", Draco whispered, pressing a kiss against my forehead. I smiled up at him, as those words always made me feel so happy inside.

"I love you too, a lot", I said, pecking his lips softly. His heart rate had calmed down and he seemed to be okay again. "I realised I did exactly one year ago", I chuckled. "It's been one year since our fight after your date with Daphne."

"Hmm, that really was something", Draco said, looking up as if the memories were on the ceiling. "I remember feeling so distraught when you cried. I couldn't believe I made Eleanor Selwyn cry."

"That was the first time I had properly cried in at least five years", I said, thinking back to that moment. Benjamin had been the one to comfort me back then. I hadn't spoken to Benjamin since our last talk right before Christmas break. He didn't try to talk to me, so I didn't talk to him either. I hadn't thought about him for a while, as it hurt to think about. I still missed him sometimes.