nice receive•haikyuu oneshots

azumane asahi•neutral reader (angst)

The Lion Heart and the Scarecrow Brain

He held you like you were glass. When you woke up in his arms, it was as if he feared you would crumble at the slightest movement. The look on his face was worried and painful. You raised your hand to his cheek. "Asahi, I'm not going to die." You reassured, though he didn't seem to believe it. "It's only a cold." You smiled at him weakly. Your body was on fire and you could barely keep your eyes open. He carried you easily to the bed, letting you under the covers tenderly. You would be fine with some porridge and tea, some medicine would be nice too. You had a habit of neglecting your health as of late, easily forgetting to do something as simple as taking vitamins or drinking enough water.

Asahi tended to your bedside for a week before you relented in letting him drive you to the hospital. You smiled at him, thinking nothing of it, hoping to put his worries to rest by the time you left the doctor's office. He was careful, sleeping on the couch, wearing a mask, cleaning whatever you touched. The last thing you wanted was for both of you to be sick.

Your head was pounding from the stress, making it hard for you to bear the bright artificial lighting in the hospital. As you waited in the room, the lights made you progressively more irritated before you put the pillow over your head. Eventually, the doctor came in, apologizing for their tardiness. You went on to explain your symptoms. There were a series of tests, mostly as a precaution, still the doctor was sure it was only the flu.

You proudly announced the diagnosis when you got back in the car. Asahi still looked worried, but he relaxed a little. You explained how it would take more time before you got final results.

The next day was worse than others. You couldn't even sit up from how nauseous it made you. If you even turned to take a sip of water, you were worried bile would creep up your throat. Everything sounded loud and intermittently went quiet. Tv static, the faucet dripping, it all went away. And then the phone rang. You couldn't make out what was being said, but you were disoriented when Asahi came back into the room and brought you to his chest, crying.

You didn't ask what was wrong, but fell asleep in his arms.

The next time you woke up, you were in the car, if you hadn't known any better, you would have thought you were still in a dream. But the warm hand in yours grounded you. Asahi looked like a wreck. His hair was messy, his eyes were sunken, it looked like he hadn't showered in a while. He pulled into the hospital parking lot. "It is time for the check up, I thought that wasn't until tomorrow?" You asked groggily.

There was a swollen spot on Asahi's lip that begged to bleed from how hard he was biting it, his hands gripped white on the steering wheel. The next hour was a blur. A wheelchair met you to pick you up and take you to a floor you had never been to, to a private room that you should not have been in. The doctor came in after they had moved you to the bed. He gave the diagnosis.

Cancer.

It was hard to say when it began, but from his guess, it was at least a five year old brain tumor. You had always joked that you were losing your mind a bit earlier than most, but that wasn't the case. There was no way to successfully operate. The doctor went over a list of risky experimental treatment options. All the while, Asahi held your hand.

You could have cried, seeing the look on his face. You couldn't understand how this had happened, you had always been so healthy, so careful. You wanted to start a family, you wanted so much to see Asahi on the other side of the aisle. Why was it all happening now?

Days passed, turning into months. Asahi was beginning to look gaunt. At this point, he might be fired from work. What little savings the two of you had, for your wedding, for your first house, it was running dry. You squeezed his hand, trying to be reassuring, but your lip quivered. "You don't have to watch me go." A tear fell down your cheek, betraying you. You were sick, some days you didn't recognize yourself in the mirror. But most of all, Asahi was suffering more.

The scariest part about dying, is what you leave behind.

He buried you five months later, the drugs never worked, but you lasted longer than expected. Asahi was by your side the whole time. You were gone, but you would be by his side for the rest of his life.

***

i am so sorry.