Three's a crowd

24

The drive up the mountain was relaxing. The sound of the radio and everyone singing along made for a comfortable fun trip. I always loved watching the scenery change as we left our rural town, drove through the bustling city, and entered the wilderness.

I always thought clearer above everything else, as if the increased elevation and clearer air gave me the ability to really analyze things in my life.

I stared out the window as Anna and Riley sang along to Morgan Wallenbergs somebody's problem. I loved this song but the trees and mountains rolling into each other over the vast landscape didn't leave much space for me to think about the lyrics or anything besides the landscape in front of me.

It was always calming to look over miles and miles of forest, the mountains all rolling into each other. It gave me clarity, peace. It was almost as if the calm of nature and fresh air helped me to clear my thoughts, tackle the inner demons that lived there.

There was so much going on in my head and I didn't know how to talk about it, not even with Riley. In a way I was hoping this trip would give me the opportunity, but since Anna was with us I guess it would need to wait for another time.

I guess I could at least use this trip to figure out the logistics of how to bring up all the fears and worries inside my head. Carl was definitely one of them and even though we had been training I didn't know if I could actually fend off an attack.

Second there was the fear of being apart from Riley. It was stupid of course, we both needed time to do other things and I knew that. When he started football practice I would be cheering again, although I had considered skipping cheer especially since it was more of a hobby than anything else.

Finally the biggest thing that scared me. Not a person or stupid thought, but more of an extreme anxiety. Sex. I wasn't kidding when I told Riley I wanted it to be him, I really do, but the stories and way that everyone explains it doesn't make it seem like it's all that great.

I knew I would have to talk to him, especially about the last part sooner rather than later with our trip already planned, but I had to figure out the best way to do it. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea, that I didn't want him. In fact I wanted him so badly that I was afraid it would be less than perfect.

I was interrupted from my mind clearing when Riley turned into a small gravel parking lot and turned off the car.

"Who's ready to hike?" He asked as we all climbed out of the car.

We set out on the small trail that was just big enough for one person to walk at a time. Riley and I would walk this trail several times over school breaks and find some tree or hidden cave to kiss against away from other hikers.

When we got to the split in the trails we would typically take the path to the left that looped us back around in a two mile hike, but today I was feeling adventurous.

"Can we go this way?" I asked.
"Britt that's five miles?" Riley stated.
"Come on brother, I'm sure you could use the exercise with your season starting soon. We only have like a week and a half left of summer break, live a little!" Anna chimes in as I smiled knowing he was outnumbered.

After a few seconds of looking back and forth between us he finally agreed with the comment "this is why I never hike with more than one female at a time!".

Of course that had me and Anna laughing as we continued the uphill trek. Eventually it leveled out and turned before a huge drop off stared us in the face. I sat down, grabbing some water from the backpack Riley had thankfully remembered to grab and pressing the bottle to my lips.

"Wow!" Anna said as she turned to look at the giant waterfall creating over the rock face above us.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" I smiled.