The Abused Girl

"Exploring"

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I wake up, I really don't want to be the new kid and I really don't want to be near people but I'd rather be outside then with my dad.

My dad has been abusive since my mom died. It has been really hard, he never talks about her. He blames me for it even though he won't admit it to himself or to me. I already know that is one of the main reasons he beats me, that, he drinks and I'm pretty sure he is bipolar. He can turn from -Rainbow to death real quick- and it gets so scary that sometimes I would climb out of my window before he could bust my door down. I got good at hiding my things and got good with some tools so I could fix the stuff that we needed but that he broke.

I need to shower and brush my teeth, then I think I'll just get some stuff unpacked and make a hidey-hole to put my computer and my escape bag in. I have an escape/overnight bag always ready with 4 pairs of clothes, a tooth brush, a hair brush and some girl stuff along with phone charger, computer charger and a couple of granola bars and a water purifier just in case. I also have another bag in my jeep and have a bag of make-up too just in case my dad hurts me and I have to run out and head to school.

People used to think I was pretty. They would tell me how beautiful my long brown hair and my light blue eyes were. Complement me on my clothing and singing but after my mom died and my dad started drinking me and abusing me I separated from everyone. I kept my hair over my face and always either wore a hoodie with the hood up or my beanie.

I finally get the strength to get up and take a shower.

2 Hours later

I am done with everything. I found a good hidey-hole to hide my escape bag in, got my room set up and showered plus blow-dried my hair. Now it is time to explore. I guess I'll just go to a library and read, maybe memorize a couple paths. I get in my car and just start driving, while driving I see the exact same jeep I have passing by. I don't look at who's driving though and I know for a fact they can't see me. I'm wearing a black hoodie with the hood up and sunglasses, along with a pair of joggers and my running shoes. I finally get to the library but I walk in with my head down. This library seems to be on the very edge of town.

1 Hour later

I've been reading for about an hour, I finished like 1/4 of my book. I'm gunna buy it. I stand up and start heading to the desk.

I got the book and got in my car. I decided to head to the hospital and figure out how long it's going to take to get back to my house from there. If I do that then I should have a pretty good estimate about how long it could take if I was beaten half-to-death and could barely breath.

I get to the hospital and start a timer on my phone, I sing random songs that are stuck in my head until I get there. Once I get there, I pause it.

"Huh, only like 10 minutes, if I sped I'd be able to get there in like 3 or 4 minutes."

And yes I talk to myself WAY more then I ever should but I became my own best friend over the years. It's easier to be by myself then get anyone else hurt, I'm afraid that if I get friends then my dad will hurt them. I can't wait to read my book though, I never looked at the name but it seemed interesting enough for me to read a quarter of it.

I have school tomorrow, I really don't want to go. I hide it from my dad but I'm actually pretty smart and once anybody got to know me, sometimes I'd be bubbly and sarcastic and be the comedian of the group. I never hid it from my mom. I really miss her, I miss our late night talks, I miss having a functional family, I miss having a happy dad that would threaten to go after any guy that would ever hurt me in any way. Sometimes I feel like I'm adopted but I know I'm not. I'm scared that I'm going to get the same thing my mom had.

Okay, time to go read and I guess I should eat, I don't eat much because when my dad hits me, if he's not that angry he'll always go after my stomach for some reason. Either way, if I eat and he starts kicking my stomach, the last thing I want to do is loose my food and get him even more angry.

I get out of my beautiful car and go inside. My dad isn't home... thankfully. I also park my car down the street, hidden between these two large trees that branches hide my baby. I always walk from my car hiding spot to the house since it's not that far. I go sit on my bed and start reading. I finish like 3/4 of the book and look at the clock, thankfully I ate some snacks to fill my stomach and my dad hasn't bugged me since he got back which is good. The time is 10:47 so I guess I should get some sleep for my first day.

I lay down and get huddled up in my blankets but not before I lock my door. I drift off to sleep eventually, thinking about the good and bad ways tomorrow could end in.