Here I Stand (BWWM) (AMBW) [COMPLETED]

Chapter sixty-one: Parenting style or abuse in disguise?

Rajiv's pov

Something that both me and Isa had in common, was the way we were raised, despite being from different countries, our parents had sticked to the old and proud method of parenting that relied on being stern, using violence to discipline, physical punishment for pretty much anything, emotionally restricted, no talking back, listening to the elders even if not part of your family, and of course the old and suffocating custom to plan your children's life based on what the parents wished they could have achieved, or done.

Which is truly a perfect mix for emotional traumas, failing coping mechanisms, difficulty in establishing relationships, constant anxiety, trust issues and more.

I didn't know I wasn't fine till Isa and Violet, I didn't even realize I was hurting bad, because of the abuse I had gone through, most of us, don't. Then it's a day like any other, and something happens, may be something that triggers the traumas, you failed to recognise, and you talk about it with someone, and somehow you unconsciously uncover a whole childhood, and adolescence of abuse you had grown so used to you fail to call them as such.

Isa's siblings though did think that violence as a discipline method was something that should be used, therefore she felt the need to warn them that, as far as her kids would be concerned, only words were allowed to be used to discipline them, and even with those they had better make a wise choice of those also.

I had never heard of gentle parenting before, it was Isa that introduced it to me, at first I thought it was stupid, but I saw the benefits of it since Adaline was one, and slowly stared to use it as well.

Gentle parenting is a peaceful and positive approach to parenting that is different from the traditional authoritarian 'old school' parenting style. It is a parenting mind-set characterised by empathy, respect, understanding and boundaries.

Whenever Adaline made a mess, instead of yelling or showing frustration, Isa would get down to her level, and remind her of the house rules, that stated that if anyone made a mess they were to clean it up with her, and propose a plan on how to follow the ground rules.

As our phones' alarms went off, I struggled to get up, my body felt outrageously heavy, therefore Isa went on and washed up first. Minutes later I gathered the courage to stand, washed up, and went to Adaline's room.

"Hey, there ladybug. Wake up" I gently patted her back, "Buongiorno" She yawned, covering her mouth, she tied her arms around my neck as I carried her to the bathroom, she was able to wash up alone, "Dov'è il mio cerchietto?" she asked " she is looking for her Headband" Isa translated getting Ezra's bag, I rushed to her room, looking for it, but failed, "Non lo trovo" (I can't find it) Adaline was obviously upset about it, as she huffed and puffed and was ready to she tears, "Can you explain to me why you are upset?" "I need it to hold my hair so they won't be wet" she explained, playing along, "Shall I help you, using something else?" Adaline nodded, so I opened a cabinet and grabbed a hair tie, and with it I tied her hair in a ponytail, "All done" "Grazie" ( Thank you) she smiled.

After that I went to drink some coffee in the kitchen, "Adaline, You have 20 minutes to get ready and eat breakfast okay? Look at your watch, when it shows 8:00, I would like you to be done okay?" Isa shouted, Ezra kept eating undisturbed by his mom, screaming, "Morning" I greeted her she let me kiss her cheek, "Ezra you didn't finish your cucumber" she noted "You need to eat your veggies, in order to poop well" I flaunted eating my cucumber, at last Ezra grabbed his cucumber and ate it, silently.

Waiting for them to be ready to leave, I scrolled through the post, bills, bills, advertisement, and a mail that urging me to pay the next instalment towards my university debt, my parents were in charge of paying that, but of course once you decide not follow their plans for your life, then you are completely on your own, I was surprised they hadn't posted my father medical bills as well.