Here I Stand (BWWM) (AMBW) [COMPLETED]

Chapter fifty- three: Can we fall in love again?

Rajiv's pov

"Do you think... If I had managed to muster up my courage before, do you think I'd a chance to love you like he did?"

As I turned in the bed my eyes met Isa's sleepy ones, my heart fluttered, "Get a grip of your self" I thought slapping myself. In the mean time the mini boss of the house was done with his beaty sleep, as he started to babble nonsense standing up in his crib.

I went and pick him up, "Good morning, bubba" I greeted him with a smile on my lips, he started to whine asking me to change his dirty diaper, so I did so. The resemblance between the baby I was holding and Isa's baby photos hanging on the walls was scary.

Adaline woke up few minutes after that, looking for Isa, "Come, let momma sleep a bit more. Did you sleep well?"; Adaline stood there raising her arms in order to be picked up, in the morning all she wanted to do is cuddle.

So I picked her up and left the room, with bubba. We sat in the couch as I tied up Adaline's hair and then fed Ezra his formula bottle, we were still trying to adjust, Isa was struggling so we had decided to introduce formula and start on solids, which allowed Isa to take a break.

Once Ezra was done I burped him, put him in the baby carrier I was wearing and went to the bathroom to help Addy to wash up.

After she was done she chose her own clothes, "This, isn't it a little too cold to wear a t-shirt?" I asked trying to reason with a 3 years old about the seasonal temperature change, she looked at me blankly, "Okay, then let's do this: I will let you wear the shirt but you gotta put a hoodie on top of it, so you won't be cold okay?" " Did you put your undershirt?" Addy nodded jumping happily, she then covered my face with kisses.

As we were having breakfast Isa woke up and joined us, hugging both Addy and Ezra, as I served her a banana and a toast, she sat on the stool blocking my way with her foot and embraced my torso in a hug.

My heart rate accelerated and I almost choke on my saliva, I unwillingly breathed in her scent. "Happy birthday" she said patting my back.

I suddenly felt flustered, with everything that had been going on I had forgotten about my birthday. When she said those words, I started to tear up, Isa had always been there for me, no matter what storm she was still trying to overcome she had this ability to just see through her problems and challenges to grab my hand to make sure I, too was enjoying life as much as we should.

As I sniffled, Isa caught up with was going on "Are you crying?" she inspected "No, one of your braids hit me in the eye" I lied, "Today, only... You can cry, I will let you cry, since is your birthday. You did a great job at staying alive, being there for me and the kids and being a good doctor, so today only I want you to cry away the hardships you encountered, and the moments of joy you had. So tomorrow we can smile together" she explained calmly.

Adaline came to cuddle with me as I tried to calm myself, after a while Isa came back with Ezra and Addy's stuff, so we could head to school.

"Let's go now, otherwise you'll be late for school" she hurried us, "Did you eat?" Adaline nodded, as Isa tried to put the coat on her and tied her shoes, I noticed her banana and toast had been left untouched so I peeled the banana for her and held it as she took a bite and smiled at me.

Once we left Addy at school we stopped at the gas station, that's when Ezra got hungry and fussy so Isa went to the back to feed him while I went to pay for the gas, as I was walking back to the car, I stared at her like I hadn't the courage to do so since Violet died.

I felt excited as a child who is looking forward to go to an amusement park. I just loved her in her craziness and calm, I wanted to tell her that I was actually bisexual and I was in love with her but that would only mean she'd mount safety wall around herself and I would have been kept outside.