For those who forgot how it feels to be loved, for those who need reminding, for those whose heart need a break from the brutalities of the world, for the hopeless romantic, the haunted by anxiety, insomnia and demons from the past, for those seekin...
I laid on the sofa with my blanket, we were trying to implement a stricter sleeping module for the kids to sleep in their own bed, I therefore did not dare to go to my bed, as I knew I could not quite refused them as they approached me, toddling in the darkness reaching for me.
During the first hour Ezra started to cry hysterically calling for me, "Che c'è?" (What's wrong?" I asked picking him, after a little sobbing and rubbing of eyes, he grabbed a hold of my ponytail, leaned his head in my shoulder and passed out, as I tried to put him down forcing him to release my hair he started to cry, like he had lost his country.
Just like that my phase one to getting to know the world of sex and pleasure, ended as a toddler demanded my absolute attention. I ended up falling asleep with Ezra while patting his back to assure him I was not gonna put him down. I was awakened two hours later by Rajiv, drool on my face whose owner I failed to recognise as well as a very confused face, "You can go back to bed" he yawned with Ezra in his arms, I smiled still confused but went in to follow his instructions.
Once my tired body managed to reach the bed, I melted in it like butter in a pan.
It felt like a scene from an action movie, we were escaping from something, me and the other person, whose face I could not put to focus while running. Oxygen eventually come to lack in my lungs as I stopped to catch breath leaning forward, when I rose in my place my eyes met them, those eyes.
So full of sorrow and dignity at the same time, my mind was deceiving me, I thought shaking my face, she held my hand sending sparkles and flames through my spine.
Violet...
Those big eyes of hers, stared at me as she caressed my skin, that had become crazy for her touch; she laughed tilting her head back slightly, showcasing her perfectly white teeth.
She took a hold of my face, directing my face to hers, "What was I to do?" I thought. She had me completely docile and powerless, so when she attacked my lips with hers , her breath becoming mine, our souls also uniting as they never could, as they were forbid to do so, I too felt bold enough to allow myself to want her, to kiss her back, to feel the warmth of her body against mine, her scent inundating my senses.
We were friends, that had failed to become lovers, we were friends who lacked the courage and craziness to ruin something already perfect for something even greater.
Did I identify myself as lesbian for falling for her?
No, I just thought like this, in life there are few people whose traumas and strength and charm are complementary to yours, in my case one of these people was Violet, and she happened to be a woman, and I was okay with it.
Rajiv's pov
Adaline had woken up at six, went to look for Isa, since she had gone to bed late the previous night she was still sleeping soundly, so I picked her up and cuddled a while when she fell asleep again, something to which I thank God for, I knew that once the kids were up especially if Adaline's age range they would never go back to sleep.
In the meantime Ezra, had woken up, so I changed his diaper and gave him a warm bottle of formula, if it wasn't warm he would look at me like I was trying to poison him, more so whenever he realised he would not be breast fed he would give me a weird look. I stared at him as he kept walking around with it while frenetically drinking it, usually babies like to drink laying down, but not him.
It was 8 a.m when Adaline woke up again so, her hair ruffled like the fur of a fluffy animal whose hair had not been brushed, "Did you sleep well?" I asked tying back her long hair, "Si" (yes), she yawned, "Go and wash up, I will get breakfast ready" I instructed her, Adaline looked around lost "Mamma?" "She's sleeping, I will go and wake her up" I reassured her.
As I entered Isa's room, our eyes met, as she made a run for the bed, "Another five minutes" she pleaded feeling guilty, "What? You just woke up!" "No, I only went to pee, and brush my teeth, I am not done sleeping" she argued I laughed at her way of thinking, "You can't do that, once you get up that is it, the morning starts" I argued tearing her away from her duvet, in the end she gave up sitting on the bed and put on her glasses.
Even her childish acts I found charming, I could not resist her, "Come on, we'll see if after Ezra first nap I will cover you while you get a quick nap" I settled.
Upon hearing that, Isa stopped hiding herself behind the covers, as she came out a book fell on my feet, I took a look at it, it seemed like an erotic book, "What's this about?" "Erotism, I am trying to be more comfortable with the topic of sex and pleasure" she said so nonchalantly.
"I don't think this will be of any help" I criticized it, "Do you have any suggestions?" "I could help you" I enclosed her between me and the wall my arm against it, preventing her from escaping, "Oh, really... Did you have a lot of experience?" "No, but we could learn together" my words lingered away as my attention had been drawn by her lips, who suddenly looked to be syncing my name.
She closed the space between the two of us, and kissed me, I kept my hands on her, my lips went down to her cleavage, she gripped on to my body as a lion with its prey.
10 seconds nothing more, and Ezra entered the room like a drunk driver, whining.
"Buongiorno, hai dormito bene?" (Good morning, did you sleep well?) she asked picking him up, I let go of her hand, as she also reluctantly did so, she mouthed a "C U later".
This woman could have me.
After a while Adaline followed Ezra in, asking for Isa's attention, "Andiamo a fare colazione di sotto" (Let's go downstairs to have breakfast) I had managed to understand, with Ezra on her hip and holding Adaline's hand they went downstairs.
In the end she insisted on making breakfast as I had already taken on the first phase of the morning, in the few minutes in which the children were eating, we moved to the living room.
"So I had a weird dream today..." She started, "It was me and Violet and we were running from something... And then we were kissing, like one of those couples in action movies" she let go of every word almost like scared of my reaction.
But I knew, about them, about how far was really the affection they felt for each other, of how they had never even tried to give whatever they had felt a chance, and mostly of how scared they would have been to be alone if things had not turned out well between them.
I did not see myself fit to talk about it as I would have sounded jealous as I sometimes was of having someone like Isa feel something for me.
"I already knew" I stated, she looked at me shocked, silence interrupted our convo, "How do you feel about it?" She checked "I expected it, and envied the two of you"
"Thank you" Isa said kissing my forehead, "What for?" "Not being jealous, accepting how I felt for her I guess" "You were the first one who accepted me, however if really wish to thank me..."
![Here I Stand (BWWM) (AMBW) [COMPLETED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/96074844-64-k361709.jpg)