Do You Love Me? (Sequel to Just Being Friends)(Benny Rodriguez Love Story)

Am I the Problem?

𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕒 ℙ𝕆𝕍:

I couldn't process what had just happened. It was only 3:30 in the morning and my thoughts and feelings where splattered all over the place. I look down at the gravel road, kicking any rocks I can find. Me and Jack. I couldn't think this through. It happened all so fast and then——BENNY! The thought of Benny starting running through my head. What about Benny? I came to Springwood to clear my head and to take a break. I came to get away from the pain Benny had caused me. Not come and kiss another guy. Growing up, like when I was in kindergarten, Jack was like my little sweet heart. I even told myself we would get married. But then when I grew up, I started seeing Jack as someone who would always take care of me. Someone who would be there no matter what. Then the accident happened and then my family moved. It was nice to be away from Jack and Springwood for awhile. But then I get to this new town and met Benny. Wait...wait! No it can't be. Am I the problem? First it was Jack and the accident. Then I left. Then I meet Benny and the whole thing with him happened. Then I left. The one factor that stays the same in both those situations is...is... Me. This whole time I'm the problem. I always have been and then blamed it on someone else. I'm the problem.

𝔹𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪 ℙ𝕆𝕍:

Me and the boys have been playing baseball for a while now. The sun beating down, the sweat dripping, and the crack of the baseball. It all makes me feel—I don't know. Just playing and having fun with the boys again is great feeling. Not thinking about a single problem in my life. We all take a break and head for the dugout. It felt like the hottest day ever but we were still having fun. "Benny can we please stop playing, for the love of baseball, please?" Ham was doing water bottles left and right while staring me dead in the eyes and saying this. I look at the rest of the boys and they are all completely out of energy. "Ok, hey listen, lets go home take a break and then met back up later. I gotta do some stuff anyway. Ok?" They all nodded and I made my way out of the Sandlot telling them I would catch them later. I'm walking home and thoughts are just running through my head. I knew Destiny would be so pissed if she found out I hung out with the boys. But at this point I could give two shits. She hasn't texted me nor called me in days. I think something is up because I haven't seen her around either. I think back to when everything was so easy. Me and Destiny were ok and everything was simple. I would pick up—ANNA! I completely forgot about Anna. I haven't even thought about her. Honestly, I stopped thinking about her because it hurt to much. But at this point I'm just mad at her. It's her fault she ran, she shouldn't have left. Also she makes me feel like I'm the bad guy when in reality she brought this upon herself. I can't. But then I think about that night I held her close and told her I would never hurt her, or that night I gave her my hoodie at the carnival, or all the times she was there for me. Ugggg I don't know but every time she is in my life, my life gets hard. I don't know anymore, all I know is that I need to get on without her.