Do You Love Me? (Sequel to Just Being Friends)(Benny Rodriguez Love Story)

The Crushed Up Picture

𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕒 ℙ𝕆𝕍:

I couldn't go back to sleep after my five hour nap. It was already 10:00 at night and I hadn't even gone down stairs to go eat dinner. I haven't even left my room since I had gotten home. I just didn't have the energy. But at this point I was just wide awake. I get off my bed and walk to my door. I put my ear against it and listen to see if I could hear anything. Talking, the tv on, dishes clanging. Nothing. It was just silent. I guess my family was asleep. I walk to my old record player that was on top of my dresser. I had found it in a vintage shop along time ago and I had to get it. I put on a record and start to play music. Once the music starts to play that was it. It was like I was able to get out of the world I was in and just have fun. I start to at clean up my room. I knew that even if my room was a mess, I could at least take control of something and clean my room. I was in my zone. My space. My world. I was jamming and dancing. I felt the happiest I had in a long time.

𝔹𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪 ℙ𝕆𝕍:

I was still laying on my bed just starring at the wall. I hadn't gone downstairs to eat dinner nor talk to my mom. I just didn't feel like I could put up with all the questions she had or just asking me if I was doing ok. I got up and started to just look around my room. I looked at the posters on my wall and all the baseball related items I had. I didn't even know if baseball was present in my life anymore. I hadn't been to the sandlot it felt like ages. Yeah sure I had been over there but when was the last time I picked up a bat and actually played a true game of baseball? I couldn't even remember.

𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕒 ℙ𝕆𝕍:

It felt like I was on top of he clouds. It felt like nothing could ruin this moment. It was just me, the beat of the music, and my room. I was dancing and in my moment when I step on something funny. I stop and walk over to the record player to stop the music from playing. I walk back to where I was and look down at the thing I stepped on. I bend down on my knees.

𝔹𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕪 ℙ𝕆𝕍:

I walk over to my window and look out. I could see Anna's room window. The light was on in her room and for a minute my heart jumped a little. Could it be—wait no. What am I doing to myself. It is probably just her sister or her parents in her room. It can't be Anna. I know that where ever she is it isn't here. I walk back to my bed and just plop myself down on it.

𝔸𝕟𝕟𝕒 ℙ𝕆𝕍:

I grab the thing I stepped on and stand back up. Before I do anything I walk over to my window that looks directly into— into... um. Well his window. I can't. Stop I was in a good place about 5 seconds ago. I close my shades harshly and walk over to my bed with the thing I stepped on in my hand. Its a almost like a piece of picture paper that was bent and folded. Like it had been crushed up. I open it up slowly not remembering ever seeing this in my room. Once I know what it is I gasp and cover my mouth with my hand. Its um a picture. Of me and...Benny. It was a couple of days before everything seemed to come crashing down. Before everything was hell. When we were in a good place. When we were ok. But all of a sudden instead of being sad I got really mad and angry. I wanted to yell. I ripped the picture into a million pieces and threw it on the ground. I plopped my head on my pillow and screamed into my pillow. I wanted this place of hell and feelings and emotions and all this shit to just end.