Trying Not To Love You

Part One Hundred

Chapter One Hundred!!!!

A/N A landmark chapter, thanks for sticking by this!  :)

Martha was deep breathing for the duration of time that it took to settle the birthday boy into bed, then until Lucy and Henry arrived.

                “You going back to the pub?”

Martha smiled at Lucy, hiding the tension and anger that threatened to emerge in a red cloud, “as long as you don’t mind?”

Her aunt nodded, “we’re tired, and happy to relax in front of the TV.”

                “I won’t be late, I just want to...”

Henry smiled, “round the night off. I remember it well. You deserve some fun, you organised an amazing party today.”

Grinning in a superficial way, Martha nodded, “thanks H. Aunt Lucy, you are both legends. See you later.”

The pub was ‘Saturday night’ busy when she walked back in. A few of her old school friends were gathered near the bar, but she wasn’t in the mood to be overly social, so she pulled up a bar stool and ordered wine with a lot of soda. She needed to stay sensible and they’d been drinking a lot earlier in the afternoon. Pam the barmaid served her, and Martha wanted to roll her eyes at the fact that Sonny was nowhere to be seen. If she had to wait all night, she would, he HAD to learn that he needed to talk to her, to trust her, to believe that they wanted the same thing.

She made small talk to those brave enough to approach her, but she knew she exuded hostility as she sat there playing with the straw in her drink. Eventually the man himself appeared from the cellar and still looked as distant as he had earlier, but maybe not as angry, which was good, he was someone who could quite easily self implode when he started to let things get on top of him. Martha sighed, she didn’t want to make this easy for him, but she didn’t want this to break them up. Glancing around the bar Sonny’s eyes landed on her and she stared at him for a minute, he then dropped his eyes and served another customer.

                “We need some more orange juice,” Pam called across to Sonny.

                “I’m on it.” Sonny replied with a grateful nod, and was only too happy to disappear.

Martha had watched things closely, and wasn’t about to let him keep running away like that, she’d had enough. So with an awkward smile to the barmaid, she came behind the bar and followed him to the cellar.

He was pulling crates of bottles from the corner of the store when he heard her enter. His head popped up and he immediately rolled his eyes. “What?”

It was a sharp greeting, far sharper than she deserved. “What? You’re asking me what I want? Since mid afternoon you’ve ignored me, scowled at me...I thought we’d got over all this pathetic behaviour.”

                “Pathetic?” He grunted then turned back to the job in hand.

Martha shook her head in disbelief, “DON’T turn your back on me! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to drive me away...again? We make one step forward then you retreat another three. I’m fed up with it all.”

He laughed, turning to face her slowly, “really?  So what are you going to do? Walk away? Leave me?”

This wasn’t how she wanted things to turn out, her bluff was failing. “Is that what you want?” She finally asked quietly, “I thought you loved me.”