Trying Not To Love You

Part Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Three

Drink wasn't helping, that was for sure, this was the second day he'd woken with the hangover from hell and Sonny still wasn't free of his torment. Now instead of childhood demons, he had Martha size ones battling for his attention and he hated how his life had changed so dramatically.

Sonny rolled onto his back and groaned, two days ago he'd had everything he'd ever desired, now he had nothing and all that self doubt and loathing was rearing its ugly head again. In times of trouble he had always resorted to something - drink, women or some sort of fight...that was until he met Martha, since then he'd spent time talking to her, sharing meals, ideas and stories. It was unbelievable to think that she had had such a profound effect on him.

He thought back to the time they'd spent together, those stolen moments in his old bedroom. It had been magical, and he was almost unable to believe they wouldn't be repeating it. He couldn't understand her, yes people would talk, she was far too good for him in everyone's eyes, but he knew they connected, they'd become such good friends over the last few months, and even when they were arguing, she knew exactly which buttons to press, exactly how to wind him up, they were that much in tune.

He'd been angry, he'd tried to force her hand, now he needed to rethink, talk to her, reason. If he knew why she was denying him, then he could counteract her protests, but at the moment he was in the dark.

Pulling himself to his feet he groaned, feeling like shit was not a prerequisite for sorting his life out. A quick shower and he was feeling a little more human. Walking into the kitchen he smiled to see Carl stood there trying valiantly to pour himself a cup of tea. Whilst externally he looked normal, strong, Sonny knew that he wasn't and that every day activities were still a struggle for the older man, but not as much as people realising how hard things were. He was a very proud man.

"Tea? Won't say no."

Carl smiled at him, "sleeping beauty hey? Thought you'd disappeared again."

He shrugged, that was his defence in the past, run from every problem, but he couldn't run from this, "took my anger elsewhere Carl, I'm not the best angry drunk."

"Angry?"

Sonny met Carl's eyes, he obviously knew nothing about his tryst with Martha, "Oldbury," he offered, "working out how to plot my revenge."

Carl dropped his eyes for a moment, "it WAS arson."

Sonny snorted, "like there was a doubt. He was here the night before threatening Martha. I caught him, hit him...it's my fault that he retaliated like this."

Carl stepped towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder, "you think that's a bad thing? He burnt a barn, but that's better than what he would or could have done to Martha, he hurt her before and I don't want to see it happen again."

Sonny sighed, "I'm waiting on information, to take him down, properly."

That caused Carl's eyes to widen, "really?"

He nodded, "it may involve some underhand tactics, but you know it's our only option, he's out of control. It's not just us he's pissing off."

"Don't do anything stupid, ok? I don't want to see you go down for him, are you sure you'll be safe?"

Sonny laughed, "who knows? But I've caused more trouble than I've helped here, you'll all be fine here without me anyway."

Carl laughed, "you're part of the team now son, ignore Lucy's sniping, she likes you really. I can tell."