Trying Not To Love You

Part Twenty Nine

Chapter Twenty Nine

Martha had never experienced panic like that very moment. She’d always feared her two worlds colliding, and had no idea how she’d manage it, but nothing had prepared her for the fact that it would be Sonny that caused it to happen. She tried to read his eyes, his expression but he was like a stone wall. Suddenly it all seemed so sordid, so dirty, and she hated that. Ethan wasn’t something she was embarrassed about; she'd kept him as a secret to protect him, that was all. She had to make him see that.

                “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, “SO not your prerogative being the one asking the questions at this moment, so THIS is Ethan?” he half asked, though it wasn’t a question.

In that moment she realised she must have slipped up, mentioned him the night before, it was even worse than she’d imagined. She didn’t regret the way she had managed things, she hated it, but everything she did was for the best, she had to believe that. She wasn’t sure that anyone else would understand or agree. But it was a risk she’d taken. Of course would never let a name pass him by, he wasn’t one to leave stones unturned, he would want to know everything. He’d obviously followed her, and she was angry at that, a bit, but then this moment was always inevitable, and she was relieved that she didn’t have to lie anymore. But he was glowering at her, angry, impatient, and she knew she only had a quick moment to tell him her side of things.

She opened her mouth to speak, then suddenly realised that Ethan had disappeared.

                “Shit!” Glancing left to right, she could just make out the yellow of an ice cream van in the distance through some trees. “Got to find him.” She offered at Sonny before sprinting in the direction that she’d last seen Ethan travel in.

She was overtaken by Sonny who was obviously faster than her, and when she rounded the corner it was to see Sonny down on one knee talking to Ethan. Ethan was crying, he’d never been that far from her when they were out like this, he must have scared himself. He’d scared her, this was such a big place, and who knew what or who was around the next corner. Since becoming a mother, losing Ethan was her most terrifying nightmare.

Stopping a few feet away, she bent down to catch the little man as he hurtled at her, “sorry Mum. I ran too fast.”

She smiled stroking his hair, trying to hide her shaking hand, “you did. You know you must always be able to see me when we’re out of the house.”

He nodded, biting his bottom lip, tears still in his eyes.

                “Do you want that ice cream little man?”

They both looked up at the voice to see Sonny stood watching them, his emotions hidden, a friendly smile on his lips.

                “Would you darling? This man is Mummy’s friend, say hello to Sonny.” Ethan looked up with a guarded expression, and Sonny smiled at him.

                “Pleased to meet you, you must be Ethan.” The little boy nodded then smiled as Sonny extended a hand which he enthusiastically shook. “So you want that ice cream?”

After a glance at his mother who gave a reassuring smile, he nodded enthusiastically, then when Sonny extended a hand, he took it and started to explain just what ice cream he wanted as they walked towards the van.

As Ethan reappeared with a fully loaded ice cream, a grin on his face, they walked to a bench and the three sat down, Ethan between the two adults.