Trying Not To Love You

Part Fifty Seven

Chapter Fifty Seven

It was an hour later when Sonny led her into the farm kitchen. They’d had two drinks and Lucy was now giggling a little drunk, hanging onto his arm affectionately.

                “Do you want a coffee before bed?”

He wasn’t sure whether she needed to sober up before  turning in.

Shaking her head, she hung her coat in the kitchen, “I’m going straight to bed, you are a bad influence Mr Carter.” He watched her move up the stairs before walking into the lounge, the house was in darkness. He was tempted to creep into Martha’s room, but she was now sharing with Ethan, and he was out in the coach house.  He groaned, why the hell had he agreed to that?

He was tempted to drink, there was always a bottle of wine, or maybe vodka in the kitchen, he’d spent so much time drinking alone, drowning his sorrows, but he was out of that loop of self pity now, he had someone to share things with, it almost seemed ridiculous to go back to his old ways. He thought about going for a run, his head was buzzing, and when he was like this he needed to get things out of his system.

Groaning, he poured a glass of vodka then made for his old bedroom with the rest of the bottle, he had to get over this frustration, his inability to wind down. He usually knew what caused these episodes, but today he was unsure.

Saying that, he’d had a wild few weeks, this was the first time he’d truly been alone since everything changed, and in the darkness and isolation of the night. He had so many things that could haunt his dreams, Scott’s murder, the discovery of his real father, having then almost losing Martha, then the almost ritualistic way that people wanted to split them up. Now he was back to sleeping in the bloody barn!

Mickey and Tessa looked up from their baskets as he paced through their room; he glanced at the shower...maybe that would help. But he knew it wouldn’t. Taking a glug of the vodka he took the stairs two at a time. There was lamp glow from the room, just like Martha to make things comfortable for him, that was so her, always thinking of everyone else. 

As he stepped into the room he froze, yes she’d left a lamp on, the soft light casting shadows around the room. The rich linens on the bed were a stark contrast to his old thin grey duvet that he’d slept under the first few months that he’d lived there, and they were inviting. But not as inviting as the sleeping figure eyes closed, chest heaving in the deep breath of slumber that was tucked under the duvet.

He sighed, this would make him calm...not sex, not that it was the furthest thing from his mind, but the thought of curling up with Martha, having her in his arms.

Sonny stepped closer to the bed and sighed, she was naked, though the duvet covered most of her, he could see her bare shoulder, the curve of one breast, and one bare leg stuck out halfway down the bed.

On the table beside the bed was a baby monitor, he could hear the steady breathing of someone and then realised it was Ethan. She’d be able to rush back to him before he woke and disturbed anyone else. She was resourceful, he’d give her that. Unbuckling his jeans he could feel that tension, the frustration that had haunted him the latter part of the evening disappearing, that’s what this woman meant to him. 

In just his boxer shorts, he slid under the duvet next to her, knowing that he was cold, and she, and the bed, were toasty warm. She shuddered a little at his cool hands sliding around her, but by the time his head hit the pillow beside her, she had turned and was wrapping her arm, and her delectable body around him.

                “I’ve missed you,” she breathed as he hovered his lips a fraction of an inch above hers. Those same lips broke into a smile.