Beautiful Lovers

22.

Nanny did not forget. Of course, she wouldn't forget. How could she? She has been always the one to complain about Juliette's protector. She compared them and moodily mumbled under her breath. But the nanny missed it. How did the girl know? Because she missed it too. The woman hid everything, Juliette believed, both of them cared about. Nan turned to her and Juliette chose to believe that the glint in the demons' eyes isn't from the onion but from the motherhood the old, grumbling Nan was filled with... Wait, how old was she?

"Please..." the girl pleads.

"You owe me." Juliette reminds the Nan, though unwillingly. Both their gazes fall on the burn on the nanny's wrist. Four stripes of red skin and a memory.

"If I have never met you, I wouldn't have those."

The girl blinks. Oh, Fate, it was true. She was right. Why was she right? Juliette was fighting cruelty, brutality, barbaric tendencies and yet still... She looked away. The demoness sighed.

"I don't know why you want to get into the palace. But it isn't a good idea. The young prince... he is no more of a young prince. He is a fool and a lunatic, but he is a king. You'll be dead before you walk through the main gates."

"But you know a way, Nan. You know where I ought to go. You always knew."

Juliette was a little too desperate. Nanny was the only one who could help her. And the knowledge, there is someone in Amichemin, who could help her... to justice kept her alive. She has driven through the forest of Oblivion, villages guarder by Tybalt's knights, stepped across the river Pouss. For her. Just for her. Just for the hope, for that little information, nanny held in her wrinkly palms. Because Juliette didn't know what she would do if the nanny wouldn't help her. Wha she would do, if she wasn't driven by guilt. She has been living her whole life for her family, for her, for the queen, who wasn't even a queen. She didn't know how to move on. Juliette refused to.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

Juliette sighs with impatience.

"When I was little, you always found us. Not even the guards cold find us, but you... you always knew where we were. You caught us within a fraction of a lifetime. You know the way between walls."

Nanny frowns as if Juliette's discovery annoyed her to no end.

"That doesn't mean he doesn't know them either."

"Of course. He does not." Juliette whispered, but she knew how naive it sounds. She hasn't been in the capital city in months. A lot has changed in months. But she could not bear the disappointment. She needed a way. A purpose. A justice. It didn't matter. She was a stray cat. Even if the king had caught, he foolishly creeping through the secret paths, it is better than to return to the darkness of forest of the Oblivion. To the grave of the life, she once had.

"Please, Nan. Even if they would... torture me-" she swallowed," ...I would never tell them, it was you who had helped me."

It was true. Yes, Juliette was always the one who had been screaming during torture the most. She was the weakest of their court and not having her around... the king would kill Juliette. The girl almost envied the queen for the love the king showed her. Nevertheless, in the end it wasn't enough. Nevertheless, she must have paid the price to the cruel king with a sword instead of laws in his hands.

"Arrogant."

Juliette halted.

"Pardon?"

"You are just as arrogant as the king. You think the Fate would let this happen if it was not meant to be? You should forget about this." the nanny shrug her shoulders. Juliette could not believe her ears. What?

"Forget? How can I – how can you say something like that... How can I forget such... injustice?"

"Injustice?"

"Her death!" Juliette cried out desperately.

Wasn't it obvious? It was all for her. He killed her. He murdered her. And his Fate was to face consequences. And for Juliette, the Fate was working too slowly. It was unfair. Whole Amichemin was. But this thing... it was the reason why was Juliette alive. She owed it to her. She gave her life and yet still it was her who had to sacrifice hers.

"And what about the forest of Oblivion?"

Nanny put a smoking hot tea before Juliette. The girl turned the cup between her fingers, the blaze almost freezing on her skin. The forest of Oblivion... The nanny really wanted to hurt her, huh? Those trees. Those cursed trees, towering her. She was defeated, covered with tears and blood. Surrounded with corpses and fire.

"Everything that happens in the forest of Oblivion, be forgotten." Juliette took a sip from the tea with eyes full of shame. As lava the water rushed down her throat and warmed her soothingly. But not even Frae tea could dissolve the guilt in her heart.

"That is just a nonsense made up by criminals." the nanny snorts condescendingly, but she was observing Juliette how she is drinking the tea as if it is cool water from the river Pouss. She was frowning and Juliette believed that nanny regretted her words. No matter. Juliette deserved them. It was her responsibility she failed to fill. She failed. She watched how innocent beings are dying with eyes wide and ears full of screams. She will never forget. She mustn't.

"You and I are nothing but criminals."

"Your arrogance again." the nanny sighed and sat to the table. Juliette lifted her gaze and felt the infinite vulnerability. She couldn't help it. She despised her fear, insecurity... but it was her essence. She couldn't rip out her heart. She didn't want to be a tyrant that doesn't bleed. The woman leaned closer; her demon eyes narrowed. Juliette knew that the nanny was trying to engrave the similarities between the two women into her memory. Perhaps because it was probably the last time, they will ever see each other. No. Definitely.

"You are blaming yourself for what happened. You are arrogant when you think that there was anything you could do. You couldn't. You aren't Fate, Juliette. You are not omnipotent. You never had a chance in changing her life, no matter who you are. So, now, you have no right in changing his. Don't chase a revenge that will destroy you."

Oh, Fate, how much did she need to hear that. The guilt. The shame. The love. It all crushed her. Nanny was such a cruel woman, but a demon with a big heart. She hid her affection behind ugly grins, wrinkly narrowed eyes and mumbled words sounding rather as riddles than sentences. But the nanny's brute, yet soothing words didn't convince Juliette. Not even a little. Not when she looked at the reflection in the water, of a river she slept by sometimes. Not when she saw those grey eyes that didn't belong her anymore looking back at her.

"And he didn't have the right to destroy hers. Or yours. Ours." whispered Juliette with tears in her eyes.

The girl didn't feel desperation or disappointment. It was worse. She was broken as a branch growing out of stones in mountains of Wolf Fur. Seemingly fragile and yet admired for bravery. But broken. In the end they are all broken.

She came in good spirits, she thought that the nanny will welcome her like a lost granddaughter. She thought that they will cry through the night and will share memories of the old days. She didn't think that the nanny would embrace her with affection. The demon was never like that. But she hoped that they will share their grief. That she will help Juliette repay their misery. Make it right.

She sighed. She barely forced herself not to cry. She breathed in shakily, adverting her eyes to the ceiling, the grey glistening.

"I will find help elsewhere. Goodbye, Nanny."

The handle of nanny's door was from brass and dirty with grease and dripped sap. The handle of nanny's door was malicious. The handle of nanny's door was the end.

Juliette was the end.

"Stop."

 ♡♡♡

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