Beautiful Lovers

7.

EDITED
The period was final. It sealed the words, the silent plea for mercy. Because he was guilty. He was guilty of not being strong enough for his little sister. He looked up to the sunny sky, the brightness of that one star, hurting his red eyes. It wasn't really fair. That it was so nice outside when inside, it hurt so terribly. When the days were clear, but he seemed so lost at nights. Paris slammed the damn book closed, anger taking over his senses. The pencil he was gripping so anxiously, landed between the piles of drafts of essays that were due tomorrow. He knelt to his bed, threw the book in the box, more harshly than he had to and shoved it under his bed. No wonder that they say, that monsters hide under your bed. It didn't help at all. It was utterly useless and Paris felt like an idiot.

The rest of the evening went slow and it was too easy to get lost in Paris's thoughts when there was no one to distract him. His fantasies were one of the cruellest things he ever witnessed, even though he never realised it. It was like he was so afraid of really dreaming from the fear of giving himself too much hope. The reality always crashed the illusions and Paris sometimes told himself that it would be better if he just had nightmares.

"What would it be like to just escape?"

He could never escape himself.

"What would happen, if I just gave up? I wouldn't go to school. I would just lie down and stare at the ceiling."

But school was the only thing holding him above the water.

"What is it like, being happy? Nothing more. Just enough?"

He will never know.

And these thoughts fill his mind and their weight falls on his already heavy shoulders. And the strangest thing is that he isn't at the bar with bloodshot eyes, with golden brandy in his hands. Nope. He was cutting vegetables. The carrot didn't deserve his harsh hands, but Paris didn't really care. Why would he?

So, when he finally lied down, he realised that that day he didn't do anything at all. That he didn't remember anything special happening. That he didn't even know what damn day it was. He simply closed his eyes, with an empty life, but with a heart full of pain that he will never know, what it was like to smile like the whole world just started to shine with the brightest colours. He was glad that he fell asleep quickly because there was no reason to be awake when the dreams have just begun to be so much better.

♡♡♡ 

Right after Juliette opened her eyes, the horror of her carelessness fell in her lap. The whole day of her travelling she couldn't stop wondering about the way she weakened when she saw Paris's hurt eyes. She let herself be awed by that strange magic and didn't notice the hiding threat of the unknown. Her soul could've been captured. Yet, she feels as if perhaps Juliette does not fear Paris as much as she felt hurt by him. He told her his story in a tone she rarely heard. Honest one. But the chill that poured over her when he sharply retorted woke her up from her dreams and she felt hurt and guilty. However, when the words of the boy she had only just met harm her so much, what will happen when she will look forward to him? When she will look out for their shared dreams? No. Juliette will never allow that. The girl was a fool when she thought... she does not even know what she thought. Something good in the world of all wrongs.

Her eyes are leaving the green leaves of trees and are closing faster than she wished. However, her Fate was never to avoid that darkness and the mist, which so wonderfully reflected the pain and the curse named life.

"Juliette." Paris's voice is slow and hesitant. He too didn't forget what they said to each other last night, Juliette realised. The guilt is eating her up. How could she be so cruel? How could she think of such a harsh lie? But she scolded herself end reminded herself that she ought to think of her own safety. However, it didn't stop the snake of poison like feeling tightened on her throat. Juliette will not blame him if he hates her.