Why? (Depressed Eren X Captain Levi)

Chapter 1

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"It's A Stupid Phase..."
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**Eren**

After accident transforming into a half armed titan, I notice the way my fellow comrades looks at me.. like I was a threat to them..
Though, Caption didn't seem to care, same with Hanji, she liked my titan arm.

Once night had set, I was put back in my cell, ahh talk about 'home'. I was about to doze off to sleep until I heard Auruo voice, "JESUS  FUCKING CHRIS LEVI!! WE CAN'T HAVE THIS M-MONSTER GET AWAY WITH IT!!" Auruo's voiced echoed through the halls.. I froze. ' who.. who are they talking about...?' I though to myself
"Captain! You were to close to him! That thing could've killed you!" That was more of a feminine voice.. Petra...

'That thing..?'

"He's not a thing, he's a human, a child. He doesn't know what he's doing." Now that's Levi voice.. he somewhat seems to care, not like it matters..

"That doesn't means shit!! We can't have him transform into a fucking monster every time he gets a fucking paper cut!" Wow... That's Eld's voice..
I turned to my pillow, trying to muffle the voices of hate that filled up the halls but failed... Gunther, Eld, Petra, and Auruo all yelled at Captain about me being a monster.. a thing.. a weapon...
"ENOUGH! The four of you, go clean the stalls." Levi yelled out an order to his squad

They probably listen, I wasn't able to hear them, not like I wanted to in the first places..

I began to tear up, my tears form into muffed sobbing, all I was to them was a threat, not a person, not a human, not even a soldier... I got up from my bed, looking around to find my pocket knife I use for my ODM gear. I took the blade out of it's capsule, carefully admiring it. 'I am going to show them that I am not a monster.. not a thing.. not one of those disgusting titans and not a weapon...

I placed the knife on my left wrist, causing crimson red blood to fall through the cut. I shut my eyes tight, 'Don't turn, Don't turn, Don't turn!' We're the words I kept repeating to myself. I opened my eyes slightly to see.. my human arm, my human blood.. I. I did it..

Though.. one victory wasn't enough.. I needed more!
I needed to practice!
I created more gashes on my wrist. As my red crimson blood flooded my wrist, I felt my mental pain slowly fade and turn towards my open physical wounds... 'wow..'

I hide my pocket knife in my sinks drawer and I than began to clean the blood that flooded my arm, weird..no pain. I smiled.

Once all the blood was washed away I pulled down my sleeve to somewhat help attempt to hide the cuts.. good enough...
I headed to bed... well tried to.
I wasn't able to fall asleep until my eye lids grew heavy, which lead to sleep and that didn't occur until sunrise.

—Next-Day—

I woke up 2 hours later from the noises of Captain unlocking my cell door like I was an animal... I cover my eye's with my arm, "tch" I accidentally 'tch' Captain... "what was that brat?!" Captain said in his modern monotone voice
"Nothing, sir..." my voice came out deeper than I expected it to be..
"Tch, get up brat!" Captain gave me an order I didn't wanna follow
"In a bit..." I softly denied Captain's order, turning over to my side

"Oí! Brat!" Captain grabbed me by my collar, making me look dead in his eyes "I gave you a damn order! Now follow through, Cadet Yeager." Captain tone of voice changed into more authority like
"Got it." I said giving a thumbs up, Captain scoffed as he let go of me, I hit my cot pretty hard but it's whatever, pains is pain.