Why? (Depressed Eren X Captain Levi)

Chapter 8

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"The Attempt"
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**Eren**

I've been making things worse.. not better. I'm fucking useless! I make the higher ups worry about me for no reason! I can't, I can't!

I just want to disappear.. I wanna curl up in a ball and be forgotten. Captain makes me go everywhere with him, it's impossible to cut. Captain doesn't sleep until 4 a.m and wakes up 3 hours late, he watches me like a hawk. tch, I'm so tired of this... I walk past the food hall to see the large kitchen knives.. I want it!

A light bulb lights up in my head, why should I care that Captain stays up until 4? I haven't slept since they found out! I have a plan that will help me and everyone...

I want to kill myself.. I can't keep at this, I'm tired, I'm tired of being looked at, I'm tired of working as a useful person, I'm tired of being here! I want to sleep, forever.

~+•+~

It's night now, I laid on the cot that Captain gave me. it's more comfortable then the cot I have in the dungeon.

I stared at the nice, clean wood ceiling. It's around 12 or 1 a.m.

I want to see one last thing before sleeping, "Captain?" "Yes, Eren?" I heard coming from the distantes, "Can we go on a walk?" I questioned, hoping he'll say 'yes'

"Huh? Now?" Captain said looking up from the stack of papers, "I- I mean we don't have to.." I was disappointed. I heard a sigh coming from Captain's direction, "Come on." I hoped out of bed and ran towards the door, putting my shoes on before leaving.

Captain and I walked for a bit until I saw where I wanted to go, the balcony.

I ran toward them, leaving Captain behind. "Eren!" He yelled yet, whispered. I stopped and looked up at the dark blue night sky that was filled with little lights, called stars.

"Eren! You damn idiot!" Captain said as he joined me on the balcony, I let out a small laugh. I should enjoy this moment, since it'll be my last.

"Sorry, I just really wanted to see the stars" I turned to the stars and smiled, the night was perfect. A cold night, nice windy weather, and being with someone who cares about me, Captain.

"Hey, Captain?" I looked over the railing, my eyes down on the grass that was flowing with the wind. "What's up brat?" Captain said as he went beside me, laying on the rail that stopped you from falling. "I want to apologize for my actions and that I'm very thankful for you... You know, taking the time out of your life to watch over me. We all know you're stressed with work." I ended my sentence with a smile as I felt a pair of eyes staring at me.

"You're sure one for speeches" he chuckled as he began to walk off, "aren't I supposed to be watched over?" I questioned as Captain made his way to the door.

"I trust you to come back to the room when you're ready" Captain gave a smile before disappearing in the dark hall.

I turned my attention back to the star one last time, I then walked inside but not to the Captain's room but the kitchen...

I peeped my head through the large door. Now one's here!

I made my way inside the food hall and saw the kitchen knife I saw earlier that day. I took it out of the knife holder, it was a large and sharp knife. I stared at my reflection for a bit, I took in a deep breath before leaving the food hall.

I walked back to where it all began. The dungeon.

I was always the only one down here, I stared at my empty old room. Flashing through all the old memories...

Since I didn't have the keys to my cell I couldn't go in so, I took the chair Captain was always in and sat.

Time to add the final once! I thought smiling, I'm gonna miss everyone that was kind to me but this world isn't ready for another monster like me!

I remember Captain's words, 'I trust you'. I didn't want him to feel guilty so I grabbed the clipboard and pen that was always near my cell. I began to write my letters to Captain, Hanji, Mobit, Mikasa, Armin, and everyone else that cares about me.

I put the clipboard and pen next to me. I than took out the large and sharp knife from my pocket, though it did stab my leg it didn't bother me one bit. I looked at my already scared wrist..

I put the knife on the top of my forearm and began to put pressure as I moved down to my wrist. I tried to replicate the same thing I did on my left arm but it didn't turn out the same. Though it's still bleeding.

I dropped the knife as it let out a loud noise but to me it sounded fuzzy, I felt cold and tired. 'I trust you'

Captains words repeated once more in my head. It felt like I was free from everything, I opened my eyes one last time as I saw two blobs, a black one and a dark brown. I smile as they remind me of Captain and Hanji.

I shut my eyes for the last time and awaited my death.

**Levi**

Eren's been gone for some time now, I went back to the balcony where I thought Eren should have been. I took one glance at the empty balcony and made a run for Hanji's room.

I mean I shouldn't worry! He's been fine for the past few weeks, he hasn't been cutting or using that mask! I-I mean...

OK! Levi, calm down!
Eren is fine.

I knocked on Hanji's door to hope that she dragged him in like a lost pup, "WhO iS iT?" I heard a yawn as the door opened slowly. Has she very heard of something called toothpaste?

"Hanji is Eren here?" I questioned hoping for her to say 'W-what?!? N-N-Maybe..', "Huh? Oh no, I've been asleep the whole time.." She looks at me confused....

"Hanji, please tell me your joking!" I said desperately, "I'm not! And why woul-" Hanji looked at me in shock, as she realized what was happening.

"You... you. LOST EREN!?" she yelled worrily, Hanji acts too much like his mother.

"I thought I could trust him to be left alone for awhile since he's been good!" I explained, why the fuck am I acting like this..?

Hanji pasted back and forth for a while as an idea hit her, she ran towards god knows where. I follow her hoping she can find Eren. Hanji ran to the food hall as I followed, we both stopped at the door and looked around. We both froze as we saw a knife missing.. Hanji began to freak out, she started to think desperately.

Another idea hit her, she turned to me. "THE DUNGEON!" we both ran out the food hall, I ran as fast as I could.

The dungeon was dead silent, we made our way towards Eren cell to hope to see him alive!

I turned the corner and it made me stop dead in my tracks... All I saw was red.. Red on the floor, red on the chair, red on Eren's wrist and a knife cover in red... "Levi why you st... OMG EREN!" Hanji ran past me, I began to tremble.

Holding back tears of guilt. "LEVI!" Hanji screamed my name, probably woke up some people but who cares. I made my way to Eren that was covered in his own blood.

The wound was too deep for hanji to handle alone. Hanji took his right as I took his left, Eren's left arm had a long deep cut while his right had multiple cuts that were deep.

Eren opened his eyes and smiled.. I removed my left hand from Eren's arm, I put my hand on Eren's cheek. "Eren.. come on.. EREN!" Tears flew down my cheek as I felt Eren began to feel cold.

Is he dead..? No he can't be!

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Another cliffhanger sorry !!! DON'T KILL ME!!!