Dear Derek

Chapter 51 (Meredith)

About a week had past and still no words came from Derek. He would sleep most of the day and stay up most of the night watching T.V. Every time I tried to interact with him, he would pretend I wasn't there. I still believed he was coping with the new world around him, but I just didn't know how much more of this I could take. It wasn't just me he wouldn't talk to, it was everyone. Both Maggie and Amelia were living at home with us and he wouldn't acknowledge them either.

Amelia walked into the kitchen and saw me sitting at the table eating breakfast. She looked over at me and smiled. "Okay what is it?" I asked, putting my spoon in my bowl of cereal.

"Oh nothing... it's just...well the hospital is undergoing renovations now, and they can't start working on it until every board member sign a couple of documents. You are the only one who hasn't signed." she explained.

"We'll send over the documents and I'll sign them." I replied picking my spoon back up.

"No the contractors need you there live to sign the papers. You will have to come to the hospital."

"Okay and when will I do that."

"Can you come today. My schedule is pretty clear I can take you there and bring you right back." she smiled.

"Okay fine but your going to have to wait til I finish  my damn cereal."

Amelia and Maggie headed out the door and told me they would wait for me there. I got dressed and headed for the door. Derek was asleep on the clinch and he must have heard me trying to get ready to leave because he woke up. He looked at me and noticed I was leaving. "Where are you going?" he asked, stretching.

Oh now you talk to me? I thought. "I'm heading to the hospital. They need me to sign some documents. I won't be long."

"Your leaving?" his face immediately turned from sleepy to awake and concerned.

"Yes. I won't be long though." I laughed.

"Can you maybe stay? We could watch a movie or something."

"I'll be back and then we can watch a movie." I said walking over to him and kissing him on the head.

I opened the door and shut it behind me. I noticed through the window Derek seemed different. Why was he all of a sudden so interested in me when he had ignored me for almost a week. I brushed it off and headed out the door.

The hospital was filled with patients when we arrived. I headed to the conference room to sign the papers. I seemed to be very popular because everyone was coming up to me and asking how I was.

I entered the conference room and met with the contractors. I signed the documents and headed back out to find Amelia. I walked around looking for her, but I couldn't find her. I kept searching and searching until I ran into Andrew. "Hey, I didn't know you were back at work.." he said.

"I'm not. I had to sign something. Have you seen Amelia? She's my ride home."

"Actually I have. She was pulled into emergency surgery right now."

"Oh. Have you seen Maggie?" I asked.

"Sorry I haven't." he replied.

"Okay."

"So...how are you? How's everyone back at home? How's..."

"Derek? Yeah we are all okay, still trying to get back into the swing of things you know." I explained.

The awkward tension was interrupted by Maggie. "Hey Mer. Amelia wanted me to tell you that she is going to be a while, so I'll take you home."

"Okay let's go." I smiled and left Deluca.

We pulled into the driveway snd Maggie stopped me before I got out of the car. "I saw you talking to Deluca. Was it awkward?"

"No" I began, "it wasn't that awkward."

"Well it looked awkward. Listen, I know you have history with Deluca and other men for that matter, but Meredith don't feel guilty. You thought...we all thought Derek was dead. You didn't know he was still out there. And let's face it, you never loved any one of those men. You may have thought it but I've seen you with them and I see you with Derek and it's like comparing apples to oranges."

"Thank you Maggie for this unnecessary conversation. Now can we please go inside?"

"Yes, let's go?" she sarcastically rolled her eyes.

I opened the front door and called for Derek. There was no answer. My heart behson to race. I kept calling him. No reply. I looked throughout the whole house and then finally found him in the bathtub. He was awake but he wasn't moving, just breathing. I walked over to him and kneeled down to get at his level. I called his name again, he didn't move. I grabbed his face and turned it so he was looking at me. "Derek what is wrong. Look at me, tell me what is wrong. I deserve to know. I'm here. I'm not leaving. Tell me what's wrong."

He looked at me and the out of nowhere just began to cry. I had never seen him cry or at least this hard. I reached out my arms and hugged him. I grabbed a towel and helped him out of the bathtub. I got him dressed and tucked him into bed, our bed. I laid right next to him and held him. I wast he's him as he fell asleep.

Maggie came in, making sure I was fine. I told her to get on the phone with Addison and ask her if Violet of Sheldon were around. We needed a psychiatrist and we needed one soon before it was too late. Before Derek was too broken to fix.

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