How many nights have you contemplated death,
How many nights have you almost left,
Pushed all emotions away,
But guess what, I need you to stay.
I saw all the signs,
Saw all the warnings,
Wanted to get you help,
But all I got was nothing.
Cry myself to sleep at night,
Wondering if you'll open your eyes,
Scared to death of losing you,
But I feel like you need proof.
Shaking as I lay in bed,
Destroying thoughts running through my head,
Crying uncontrollably,
Wondering if you're gonna leave.
Anxiety sucks you know,
Because I always wonder if everyone will go,
Can't breathe as I try to go to sleep,
So I take some pills to help me.
I wish I could do something,
But you always wanna be free,
Away from everything else,
Away from the mess.
Taking pills to fall asleep,
Tears landing in heaps,
About to throw up,
Throat closing up.
Heart hurting,
Tears jerking,
Head spinning,
Blood thinning.
Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I work myself up?
Why can't I be there,
Please let me help.
How many nights have you needed me,
How many nights have I not been there,
How many times have you cried yourself to sleep,
How many times have you almost been taken to the air.
Doesn't matter the number,
Because even 1 is too many,
I promise I'm here now,
As long as you don't leave me,
As long as you see, I need you with me.
Please don't leave, I need you. I love you. Stay with me. Please.
How Many...? 2/11/21 00:20
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Midnight Thoughts
PoetryJust an average girl trying to fit into a world using only words to describe her soul to others. ••These are random poems that I have thought of before and after the clock strikes midnight. They might not be the best, but you can always check them o...
