i can't be the only one

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i can't be the only one

who fights battles everyday

but doesn't even know

who they're fighting against.

is it me?

or you?

time?

or love?

i'm tired of crying everyday

because i'm never good enough-

for me

and even for you.

i can't be the only one

who feels like they're trapped

with no escape

and no motivation to escape.

i can't be the only one

who can't make simple choices

about who i am

and how i live my life.

i can't be the only one

who's tired of saying goodbyes

of saying i'm sorry

and of telling myself lies.

"it'll get better"

"you'll get there soon"

"they don't hate you"

"they'll change".

but it never gets better, only worse

i never get there, i always get lost

how can they not hate me? when i hate myself?

they don't ever change because you cannot change someone.

i can't be the only one

who craves to feel love

and to feel beautiful

just once in their own skin.

i can't be the only one

who pushes everyone away

when they mean to pull them close

because they are broken and they don't want to hurt others the way they hurt themselves.

i can't be the only one

who's heart is broken

because they let themselves fall for someone

when they said they wouldn't and they did just that.

i can't be the only one

but why does it feel so lonely?

why does it overwhelm me?

how did they handle it?

i know i'm not the only one,

so why does it feel like i am...

i can't be the only one 3/20/21 23:53

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