Midnight Thoughts

Where were you?

Where were you when I needed to breath

And

Where were you when I needed to see

That

All of this mess was just going to feel fake

And that

I'd get better someday?

Where were you when you lied to me

About

Everything you ever said to me

And

Where were you when you said you'd never leave

But really

Where were you when I needed to scream

The sleepless nights they kicked in

Yeah, I had my panic soar

When the pain cut too deep

And then my thoughts roared

You said you'd never leave

But it's okay to watch while I cry?

It's messed up that the feelings I felt

Even after you had left me alone inside

And

Maybe I just can't come to terms with the fact

That

You were here and supposedly "had my back"

Only to have the knife in your hand

When you comforted me

Man,

I just don't think I'll ever understand

The sting from the blade as it pierced right through my skin

And

Did you hear my screams?

Because they were echoing

As you just went and bragged about my fate

When all I ever wanted was for you to stay

Torn and broken

Yeah that's all I feel now

Because since that night I haven't felt solid ground

I always wanted to be swept off my feet

But only if I knew you'd be there to fucking catch me

And

When you swept me off my feet I was overjoyed

But then you let me crash

Yeah

You let me fall

Now all the doubt is running through my brain

Will this even be worth it someday

But

Where were you the night he said he loved me

And

Where were you the night that he touched me

Because all this time I'd been waiting for you

To just arrive

But

I guess it was all just a lie

Every word you told me makes me die inside

Because if you really wanted me

Where are you now

Come save me

I feel like I'm drowning in the pit of Hell

I can't catch a break

Feel like I'm just "show-and-tell"

Lately I've felt out of my brain

I feel exposed

But

You wouldn't know

Because you disappeared when things were getting good

Yeah

You left me just because you could

Or maybe it's the doubt talking

And you're going to come back

No

Scratch that

I'm not going to play that match

Not going to let myself hope

When I'll only feel your pain

You want it back

Maybe I'll send it someday

But

It's the only thing I have of you

And I guess I'm too selfish

But I really thought I loved you

But you?

No

I'm through

Different plot

Different characters

Change to a different scene

Where's the hero at now

When he said he'd help me

Never felt this low in my life

Where were you when he betrayed me that night

And

I try to stop thinking about you

It's been almost three years

Yeah

I should be through

But I can't escape the feeling I had when you held me

Where could you fucking be?!

He tried to hurt me

Take my card too

I've never felt this unloved

Never tried to fight back so hard

But it's the fear talking now

Trying to keep me covered

But

I still can't touch the fucking ground!

I've screamed and I've cried

But

Yet you've never came

Can't be called "Prince Charming"

If you can't even fit the name

Can't have the nickname "hero"

When you can't even play the game

Where were you when I was losing the battle

That I called myself

And

Where were you when life was only a hassle

When he tried to touch me

He hurt me!

But

Where were you when I cried until I couldn't breathe

And I had almost lost all hope

Where were you, baby

Never mind, it doesn't matter

Please, just come home.

Where were you? 8/25/21 14:31