Journey Back To Me: Learning to live with Borderline Personality Disorder

My Personalities

Legend key:

Bold: Circus Performers,

Underlined: The Harriets,

*Real person: Renamed,

Italicized: Fictional Characters

Character list:

Buck and Wanda—world famous, mysterious Russian knife throwing act whom like to keep to themselves. Buck is a straight shooter (ah the puns) does not take any shit kind of person. You mess with Wanda you die. Very precise, meticulous in his movements. Broad shoulders, strong stance, solid muscular, 6'1 with a bushy black mustache, dark hair, and serious face. Wanda is a strong personality, shiny long straight brown hair, 5'10 muscular arms, browns eyes, pointy noise, modest clothing but her performance outfit is this gorgeous red and black corset that shows off her figure, black lacy ruffles with a golden fringe on the bottom, cinched waist. They represent my self-harming, even though I do not see it as a problem.

Dapper— an 11-year autistic girl, who has anxiety but loves running around flapping her arms as if she is a bird—that makes her the happiest. All she wants to be is free Nonverbal but loves to laugh and have fun. She is my inner child who wants to come out and be a part of the world but is scared and fearful that people will judge her for being different. At 4 foot 7, she is thin bodied and always wearing 1920's rockabilly/A-line dress and Mary Jane shoes.

Dr. Petite is of Ukrainian decent, short stature at 4'9, nefarious, scamming, creepy old doctor who diagnoses Janet. Always has a creepy stare, wears glasses and a dingy white lab coat. Sort of like Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde personality. He thinks he can save everyone with the latest gadget. The creepy doc represents all the mental health visits to get me some help

Gabby and Gill the infamous acrobatic unicyclist duo, who love to perform for an audience. Bulgarian brother and sister duo, decided they wanted to be circus performers because they liked using the unicycle. They became a world famous traveling sibling duo in acrobatics. Gill standing at 6'4 with a strong build and muscular legs to help him pedal the unicycle. Now Gabby is a thin flexible acrobatic, keeping fit so she can do the dangerous tricks in the air. They represent my experiences of going to therapy.

Ginger Loraine—screaming redhead, who is just loud and partially deaf so she thinks she needs to speak louder so she can hear herself talk. She represents standing on top of my brain and just screams. She just stands there screaming; every so often, she does jump up and down but most of the time she is leaning forward belting out high-pitched screams. Sometimes loud, screaming other times its little screams occasionally she makes the motion of screams but nothing comes out. I am not sure if this to get my attention or I cannot turn off all the noise. Getting the emotions out. 5'8, fiery redhead, long natural red hair, freckles all over, long thin nose, hazel yes, and bony skinny.

Helga is a Swedish ninja, beer smashing, hell raising, cunning and conniving badass chick. 5'9, skinny, hazel eyes, pale skin. Always getting trouble because she does not like authority. She likes to do things her own way. Punk/rockabilly style—Black leather jacket, spikes, dark lipstick, facial piercings. Represents my trouble making side.

Hulk a strong woman, muscle body builder who loves to show off her skills. Arm muscles for days, short asymmetrical haircut, strong facial features, gym rat—tank top and game face, always flexing the muscles. Strongwoman represents my unruly anger. Possibly a serial killer, rage is so deep inside that she will take a pencil to your eye because you blinked. She represents my uncontrollable rage and anger.

Jack and Jill are the tiny tots of terror, creepy twins who like to jump out and scare the audience. These twins have been thru the wringer. They have seen so much trauma in their short lives that their brains are mush and they act out because that is all they know. It is hard to contain them. They are only 6 years at 3 ½ feet tall. They are dirty from head to toe. They look much older than six, dead in the eyes; creepy stares look, and sadden faces. Dark brown hair. They have no manners and no social skills. The creepy kids represent my suicidal tendencies. They are logic and irrational.