Living With the Choices We Make (Domestic Violence / Abuse) ✔️

20 - Attempt To Break Free

This chapter is dedicated to StacyLV who always manages to cheer me up with her story. Sometimes, a laughter goes a long way to keep one's sanity ;)

20 - Attempt To Break Free  

The weekend couldn't go by fast enough. I was jumpy almost the entire time, not so much because I felt guilty but more because I was really scared to let my intentions slip. I wasn't sure what would happen but imagined anything from a severe beating to possibly being locked up in the house for a long time. By Monday morning, I was a nervous wreck.

"Are you OK, honey," Brent asked concerned. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine," I mumbled. "I just didn't sleep well. I have a couple of tests this week and it's stressing me out."

That wasn't even a lie. We were ten weeks into the school year out of which I missed almost four as a result of the various beatings. I wasn't sure how and if I would be able to catch up, especially with the uncertainty I was facing.

He kissed me on my forehead. "Keep your chin up, things will work out. I will see you tonight."

I grinned and nodded, fully intending for him to find an empty house when he got home from college. As soon as he was out the door, I sprang into action. I stuffed a bag full of clothing and toiletries, my heart pounding in my throat the entire time. Somehow, I felt guilty, scared and exhilarated all at the same time. This was it – I finally had enough.

I called Kade just before I left. "I'm coming over to the hospital now. Can you lend me some money for a cab?"

"Yes. I will meet you outside in fifteen minutes."

His voice was so comforting. One more look around with tears in my eyes – I remembered how happy I was the day I moved in, the future for the taking. How could things have changed so much in not even three months?

The ride over to the hospital was uneventful. I was still nervous, my fingers drumming on the seat of the cab, my eyes staring vacantly into the distance. All of a sudden, I wasn't sure anymore if this was really the right thing to do. What happened if the shelter wasn't right for me or even worse, Brent found me? Would I really be save?

I couldn't worry about it much longer when the cab pulled up to the hospital. As promised, Kade was waiting outside, jumping up and down to stay warm. He looked adorable though I didn't have feelings for him or anything. He was just the best friend I had at the moment – the only one I trusted. I just hoped I wasn't making a mistake.

He paid the driver and grabbed my bag. "I didn't call Laura yet," he informed, giving me a crocked smile. "I wasn't sure if you really wanted me to."

I appreciated his honesty. "No, I'm ready," I claimed. "I realized that I can't do this alone and I am really unhappy with Brent. I really want this."

He seemed relieved. "OK, let's do it then."

While we were walking to the examination room, he called Laura and she promised she would be over later this morning. She had some emergency she had to take care off first and I should wait. This didn't sit well with me. It never struck me that she may have women in immediate danger to their lives while I was safe for the moment.

Kade asked a female colleague to perform the physical and I was grateful. I never had a pelvic exam by a man and it would have been awkward since we were friends even if he was a physician and likely had seen naked women a hundred times before. Again, I was somewhat ignorant to the truth, not realizing that he examining me could have been against hospital policy since we had contact outside the doctor patient relationship.