Living With the Choices We Make (Domestic Violence / Abuse) ✔️

15 - Visitors

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15 - Visitors  

Dr. Fallon made sure I was pumped full of pain remedy before I was transferred up to my room and warned I would feel even worse tomorrow. Back then, I shrugged it off, not realizing how right he would be and that it usually takes hours for the full effect of a beating to sore the body.

Up to this day, I don't know what he told Brent but my boyfriend did not reappear that night. I was so exhausted and drowsy from the drugs that I drifted off to sleep in no time. I only noticed vaguely that the nurse checked on me in the morning and I didn't fully wake until almost noon. By that time, I felt like I was hit by a bulldozer.

Dr. Fallon checked on me in the early afternoon and ordered this cool little gadget where I could administer a shot of pain medicine by myself every so often. I needed it. Every twist and move was excruciating but the worst was when I had to cough. Pain radiated from my cracked ribs all through my body, leaving an aching throb behind. I felt miserable and was actually glad not to be home on my own. I was not sure how I could have even managed without the pampering of the nurses.

Brent came by around six, carefully scouting out the room but when there was no sign of Dr. Fallon, he was confident enough for a visit.

"That guy is an asshole," he announced. "Did you know that he threatened me with a police report if I came near you while you were in here?"

I could imagine. "Maybe you shouldn't take a chance. He could be back any moment."

He looked triumphant. "I asked down at the nurses' station and his shift ended thirty minutes ago. I think it's safe."

Somehow, I was disappointed. I had anticipated Dr. Fallon to check on me before he went home but truthfully, what did I expect? I was just a patient and in good hands with the nurses. There was no need for him to babysit.

Brent stayed until almost ten o'clock and we got a chance to talk. He apologized for hurting me but was adamant that it was my fault.

"How would you feel if I went behind your back with something that important? You betrayed my trust. If you didn't want a baby, you should have told me and not ran to your doctor and got yourself birth control pills without my knowledge. Those things are really bad for you and can make you fat."

I had to admit that I wouldn't have liked it if the situation was reversed.

"I didn't think you were really interested in my opinion," I remarked. "You were so firm that you wanted a child. I was scared to oppose you."

"Oh, honey." He looked shocked. "You never have to be afraid to tell me what you truly feel. That's important for a healthy relationship."

I felt like a fool. Maybe I did misjudge the whole situation and should just have been truthful?

"I guess I'm sorry." I gazed at him contritely. "I shouldn't have lied to you about my intentions."

He kissed the palm of my hand. "And I am sorry for overreacting. Like I told you, I really need your help to get a handle on this. I don't want to keep hurting you. And I am devastated about the baby." He gave me a sheepish smile. "But if you want, we can try again in a few months but that will be totally up to you."

His eyes were desperate and pleading.

"Well, we'll see," I muttered, inclined to forgive him.

He had warned me about his temper and it was at least partially my fault to put us into this situation. I should have known that he would lash out if he ever found the birth control pills. It had been a stupid idea to just go behind his back and I should have been forthcoming. Or so I thought at the time. In reality, he totally manipulated me and I ate straight out of his hand like a tame, mindless sparrow. Nothing I had done, of course, could have ever justified the violence against me but his mind games were starting to work. He had me convinced that I misbehaved and deserved at least some form of punishment.