Living With the Choices We Make (Domestic Violence / Abuse) ✔️

34 - Kade's Testimony

This chapter is dedicated to chicago2018 who has been a dedicated reader of my stories - thank you so much for your support and votes XD.                                                       

34 - Kade's Testimony  

Six weeks later....

The court room is packed. I stare gloomily at the jury of eight man and four women, all of whom have eyed me over these past four days of the trial with utter dislike. It shouldn't even surprise me - Marcus has done an excellent job of painting the picture of a monster and I would feel the same if the tables were reversed.

There were gruesome photographs of Brent's sliced open body and testimony from police officers who testified I admitted to the deed. My statements were flatly read into the record, nothing like the upset and tearful words I muttered at the time they were taken. There were a few references to domestic abuse but nothing of the living hell I had gone through.

Of course, I will have an opportunity to speak once Marcus makes his case. My lawyer, that loser, told me it is my only chance to have the jury seeing the truth through my eyes. What he doesn't realize is that I am scared as hell to be judged by twelve strangers for the mistakes I made. They are supposed to be my peers but are nothing like me. My actions will be incomprehensible to them so what's the point of even trying.

It was already hard enough to tell all this stuff to Doc Sullivan and he actually knew what he was doing and asked the right questions to get a rise out of me. But Mr. Porter is totally worthless. He doesn't care and his attitude towards me has made it abundantly clear that he thinks I'm guilty. The only reason why he even defends me is because the court assigned him. He never wanted the case. Ultimately, it doesn't matter to him if I get the needle or not.

My eyes fall on my father who smiles at me encouragingly. Ever since he fainted, I have tried really hard to make things right and he promised we would get through this together but even he can't understand my choices.

"Why didn't you leave?" he asked me over and over again. "You knew you could have always come home."

No one will ever comprehend why I did not just walk out that door. I will be convicted because ultimately, everyone blames me for being so stupid. Just like Kade. They don't know how hard it is to leave your abuser because it takes courage to accept failure and live in fear for the rest of your life. If you can even call it that.

In the same row as my father but at the far end sit Brent's parents. Mrs. Parks sobbed loudly when the pictures were displayed on the large monitor and her husband has burned holes into my skull with his eyes for the entire duration of the trial. They want me dead, that's at least what they told Marcus. They think their son was a little angel.

The door to the courtroom swings open and in she comes – Pam Fallon. Now she is a real attorney. She used to like me until I put that no contact order on Kade. My eyes beg for her help but she ignores me. Marcus and her talk and she doesn't even glance at me. She is here to support Kade with his testimony, there is no doubt. He will be next.

I notice Doc Sullivan sliding into the back row of the audience just as the judge walks in. What is he doing here? I can't worry about it, almost snagging my pantyhose on the edge of the table as I jump to my feet. It is strange to wear regular clothes again, I am so used now to my lose fitting orange jumpsuit that all other clothing feels restrictive.

The court allows the defendants to wear ordinary clothes during a trial so that the jury isn't biased. My father tried to find the best outfit but the only thing that still fits me are my waistless summer dresses that hide the baby bump but look ridiculous in late-September. I'm now six and a half months pregnant – eleven weeks to go. I will give birth and never see my little son again. They might not even allow me to hold him once.