Living With the Choices We Make (Domestic Violence / Abuse) ✔️

31 - We Are Done

This chapter is dedicated to @mariahw____ . Thanks for your votes and support XD.

31 - We Are Done  

Nate's POV

I stare up into the sky wondering if Brent Parks is up there somewhere, watching me. If he is, what does he feel? Remorse, anger, guilt – it sure would be interesting to find out.

There is no cloud at all and the heat is sweltering, making the shirt stick to my back. I have never been a fan of the summer – not so much because of the temperature but when I was a kid, vacation time meant sticking around the house and hearing my parents argue for most of the day. My father was a notorious cheater, resulting in at least two half siblings I know of, and money was always tight. My parents' fights were legendary yet never escalated to any sort of violence. I can't even remember ever getting a spanking.

The guards took Rena back to her cell for lunch at my request. I didn't want her to know how much her story disturbed me and desperately needed a few minutes to pull myself back together. Brent was a highly troubled individual – many of his characteristics related to his childhood trauma but his sadistic tendencies were unusual. It wasn't as much the physical aspects, I actually had seen much worse, but the mental and emotional abuse. Given Rena's age and inexperience, it was brutal.

The door behind me opens and for a moment, a slight coolness from the air conditioner is washing over me. I frown at the intruder into my personal space though I realize I am standing close to the smoking area and can't really ask for privacy at a jail. It's Roland of all people.

He hesitates when he sees me and I wish he would just go back inside but he releases the door and it slams shut. Hopefully, he at least won't strike up a conversation. I cross my arms in front of my chest – the universal sign that I want to be left alone – and he rummages through his pockets until he finds a pack of cigarettes.

"Want one?"

They do look tempting and I groan silently in agony. When Marie got pregnant for the second time, I quit but these are the days where my nerves are shot and the thought of nicotine very appealing.

Roland's eyes are pleading – it is a peace offering on top of that. My hand reaches forward and freezes but then I lose the battle. He passes me the lighter and I inhale deeply, a slight burning sensation in my lungs. I hold in the smoke, getting the full benefit of the nicotine being absorbed into my blood stream and at some point, it makes it all the way to my mind. Just as with any other drug, it takes some of the edge off from the get go.

"Did you know that cigarettes are the only drug that eventually kill you if use them exactly as intended?" It is my attempt at small talk and brining my set of morals to the world at the same time.

Roland doesn't want to talk about the horrid habit of smoking. "I honestly didn't know what that ass did to her when I grabbed her this morning. I thought she was behaving totally irrational and didn't mean to upset her. I'm really sorry."

He must have been one of the guards behind the mirror to ensure Rena behaved and appears just as disturbed as I am. I take another drag from my cigarette, not really in a forgiving mood.

"Why do men do that to a woman?" He deeply inhales the smoke with hooded eyes.

"Many reasons but the most prominent is maybe the need to have absolute control over another human being. It gives them a sense of power to compensate for situations in their lives where they felt helpless and weak."

"That's pretty deep." Roland is trying to comprehend my words and I am not really sure he understands.

"Many abusers have been bullied at some point or another or have problems advancing in their careers, maybe even being subject to ridicule outside their home. Beating up on someone gives them a sense of redemption. And in case of Brent Park, the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father played a big role in his behavior."