Lucid Dreamer | rosékook ✔

(32)

(32)

Jungkook's POV

"Don't worry about her, she'll not do that. I know that someday, Rosé will be able to accept my disappearance. She's a strong person, I accepted this for a very long time. D-don't worry..." I uttered with pain in my chest.

She's strong... I can feel that.

I didn't know that her mother really cares for her. What if she end up like me? How about her family who are waiting for her to get better? I don't want to be selfish just to be with her. I can take all the risks, just for her.

My doctor leave the room, but her mom is still here. "Jungkook, right?" I turned to her with respect, when she called my name. "Y-yes."

"How much do you love my daughter?"

"My love for her is too heavy to handle. So I don't exactly know how much, but I can assure you that my feelings aren't fake." I smiled at my own statement. "Can you do everything for her to be happy?"

"With my condition, I can't promise you that I can fully make her happy. But she is Rosé, being by my side makes her happy already. I can still make a little effort for her, even though I'm here lying down." I answered honestly. "I can really see that my daughter loves you so much. Please take care, Jungkook-ssi." She pat my shoulder and exited the room.

But, how will I make her happy? If I'm dying? She won't be able to see my efforts for her, because my days are counted. What if it's tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Or later?

Should I just make her forget me as soon as possible? Because I don't really know how much pain will I cause her, once my day comes.

I'm really sorry, Rosé.

I heard a knock, before I respond the door opened already.

"Taehyung." He immediately introduced himself, without me asking. "Rosé's ex?" I know it's him. "Yes. I have something to tell you." He walk near me. "About what?"

"About Chae." Silence is all over the room. I didn't respond, but I'm listening. "Don't hurt her. Don't make her cry, I trust you dude. It's the least you can do, not to hurt her."

I know that, you don't have to tell it to me. I know my responsibilities as Jungkook in her life.

"Yes, I know."

"And her operation is coming, I hope both of you survive from your illness. I didn't give the best of me, but I can sense that you can give her the best of you. Jungkook, Chae loves you that's why we're over. Thank you for being by her side all the time while I'm not." He only smiled. "Not a problem.."

He then leave my room.

I don't know... I'm already hurting her. If she found out about my days, she'll be hurt even more. And that's not what I want to happen.

I stayed in my room after an hour. Rosé haven't visited me yet. I wonder what is she doing. But it's for the better, Jungkook.

***

Someone knocked on the door. I'm peacefully lying down, and I'm expecting that it's her, visiting me. But I was wrong.

"Hey." Lisa, her best friend. "Where's Rosé?" I asked. She just stand up in front of me. "Uh.."

"What? Did something wrong happen?" I immediately asked. "She just had her check up earlier. Because she had a hard time breathing."

Why would she have a hard time breathing? She neither have asthma nor heart problems. Unless her cancer is in lungs. "What cancer does Rosé have?" I asked.

"Lung Cancer."

I knew it. She'd definitely have a hard time breathing sometimes, because as far as I know Lungs are the deadliest. "Anyways, I came here to say something. She want me to tell you that she'll visit you here if she can. Take care." She said then already leave my room.

What does she mean by that? If she can? She always can. But why-

I forgot that I have to make her feel happy. So I guess this is somehow better. If she insisted then I'll just seize the moment with her.

-

It's past 7:00 in the evening, I'm still waiting for her to knock on the door and enter my room.

Where are you Cupcake?

Half of me telling that it's for the better, but the other half of me is also saying that I should wait for her.

Then I heard a knock on my door...
The door opened revealing the girl I've been waiting for to enter my room. She's wearing her hospital pajamas, that looks cute on her.

"Jungkook-ssi..." Her voice sounds like she's about to cry. She immediately went to me for a tight hug. "I'm sorry for being late." She said and kissed my head.

"Are you feeling better? How's your breathing? Do you need something?" I asked, concerned. When I found out that she had a hard time breathing, I felt nervous. It might affect her illness. That's so unusual for me to hear it.

"You. I only need you. I'm okay when I'm with you. So please get better too." She sat beside me. I intertwined my hands to her. "But what I want to happen is the opposite of yours." I only stared at her.

She stared back, not saying anything. "Rosé..."

"I want you to leave and close your eyes. Don't look at me dying-"

"No, I once told you before that there's always someone who'll stay by your side when you're at your worst. Here I am. Let me stay with you, don't push me away." Before I finished my sentence, she already replied, looking straight to me. Eye to eye.  She starts coughing, that makes me worried to her even more.

"But, you'll be hurt if you stay by my side."

"I don't want you to vanish and be gone forever. I won't let that happen." She even said, confidently, still coughing. I handed her a bottle of water that's just beside my bed. "Rosé, listen. There's nothing we can do about it. My time is running too fast." I responded. "If that's impossible to happen, then I'll go with you. Let's die together, baby." She smiled, before drinking the water.

My heart became warm the moment she smiled and called me baby.

I only went closer to her and hug her as tight as I can. I'm gonna miss hugging this cute little cupcake.

As if she'll do what she's saying. Of course, she'll live longer than me. I'll just guide and be with her even though she can't see me anymore.

I can't leave her, but I have to. It's already planned. God has already gave me the amount of time I need. I know it's not enough, but for how many years I've waited. It's all worth it, to be with someone I love until my last breath.

"Be with me, until that heartbeat monitor stops." I pointed out the heartbeat monitor and smiled bitterly at her.