Lucid Dreamer | rosékook ✔

(28)

(28)

It's been 4 days. . . since we met.

I kept on being awake, isn't that also a bad thing for my health? I don't have enough sleep! My eyes are fully awake, they do a lots of injection to me.

My mother is in a tight schedule to visit me, but she knows about my operation. Lisa is still avoiding me, because of our argument last time. Taehyung haven't showed up, since our break up. And I understand that, maybe he already moved on. That's a good thing, btw.

As of now, I'm aware that my cancer is in level 3. Hyeri said that they have to do the operation next week if they see no improvement in my health. I'm fvcking sick of this!

PLEASE LET ME SEE HIM, ONE LAST TIME... I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM ALONE...

Then, I started crying. Thinking how is he doing there in the dark. Fvck this situation! Fvck this life!

"Hey, why are you cry-"

"Hyeri eonni, I badly want to sleep. Please let me sleep, I need to-" she cuts me off. "No you can't Rosé, this will just ruin your situation."

"Why not?! Why can't you let me sleep? Just for a minute! I just wanna see him there..." I sob in my own arms. "Him? Lisa is right, you're hallucinating. Sleeping have affected your brain too much. It made you hallucinate things." She stated that made me angry.

I'm sick of their, "You're just hallucinating."

"Stop this sht please. I'm not hallucinating, goodness!" I scream. No one will hear me, aside from Hyeri. "What is wrong with you? Will you please calm down."

"How? Tell me how can I calm down? Let me sleep then I'll calm down."

"Rosé, you can't sleep. Remember, you're sick."

"I don't fvcking care, I just want to sleep right now!" I bawl out. "Stop being stubborn, Rosé!" She started shouting at me. "I just have to check on him, 10 minutes only." I begged. "What are you talking about?" Her brows furrowed in curiosity.

"I'm lucid dreaming okay?! Happy? Now let me sleep, please Hyeri eonni." I held her hands tightly while crying my eyes out in front of her. "What did you say?" Silence is all over the room. "Please don't tell it to my mom yet."

"You mean. . .the person you draw is the one you keep on talking about that you want to see?" She said, I felt her hands shaking. "Yes, when I'm awake he'll be all alone there in the dark. That's why I want to sleep because it's been 4 days." My eyes started releasing tears again.

"B-but, you really can't..." She uttered, with guilt. "I know I'm not gonna live that long, and what I want before I die is to see him. Please, I'm begging you eonni." I pleaded one more time. "Just. . . 10 minutes okay?" My eyes brighten when she finally agreed.

"Thankyouu eonni! Inject me something please, I'm not yet sleepy." I asked, because of coffee and injections that they did to me, I wasn't able to feel sleepiness. She started to inject me something, and before I closed my eyes, I grabbed the drawing and hold it.

***

As I walk along my dream, I see nothing but the bench near the river. "Jungkook! I'm back! I'm so sorry for leaving you here for about 4 days! I have something to tell you, please show up choosy guy!" I shouted, while my heart can't stop from beating so fast.

I'm feeling nervous, sht.

"Stop this sht Jeon Jungkook. Let me see you!" I roam around to look for him. But he's nowhere to be found. I sat at the bench, holding the paper with me. Then I noticed something in my seat, it was his inhaler that I gave to him.

W-where are you Jungkook-ah?

My tears start streaming down my cheeks, as if it will never stop.

I sat there waiting for 10 minutes to pass. Time's up, time's up, time is up.

Time is fast whenever you wanna be with someone, but why does time so slow when it's not even needed?

4 days ago. . . Was that the last time? Will there be no upcoming days for us to see each other again?  Give me an answer. . .

I found myself awake again, tears all over my face. I hugged the paper I'm holding, while crying so hard. Pretending that I'm hugging him. Hyeri immediately walks beside me. "Hey..."

"Did you see him?"

"Eonni... what should I do?" I said, looking at her. "What happened?"

"He's not there. I didn't see him. He's no longer there..." My cry became louder as expected. I never cried this hard because of someone before. This is what you call PAIN. It's like stabbing your heart again and again. Some people feel numb because of too much pain.

Until you're used to it. But, he just gave me the biggest pain I'll ever have in my life. I was attached, I was attached to him so freaking much. And now, all I could think of is him. I can't imagine a day without him, my life without seeing him.

Jeon Jungkook,why didn't you tell me that you're gonna leave me? Hello Chae? How could he, if you're the one who's awake for days. How could he? If you're the one who left him alone... I'm so sorry for giving you a hard time, Jungkook-ssi.

My last goodbye? I love you.