Lucid Dreamer | rosékook ✔

(5)

(5)

I'm suddenly hungry, so I get the paper bag on my table beside me. It's full of medicines. Where are all the foods in here? I stand up to see what's inside the refrigerator. Mom is soundly asleep already, she looks really tired from work.

I saw an apple inside it. A memory popped up in my head. That apple I drew, made me think of the lips he created a while ago. Tsk! I grabbed it and eat it.

I decided to sleep again after a minutes. It's too boring to stay here in my room, the lights are dim and it's super quiet. Seems like an angel just passed by lmao.

***

"Rosé? You're here again." That pervert choosy guy approached me when I was able to enter my dreamland again. "Yeah, why not? I can go back here anytime I want." I sat on the grass beside the river.

It's also night in here, but the moon makes my dream more brighter than my future. I glanced at him, he's looking at the night sky again. I stare at the river which the moon reflects on it.

"Rosé, I have a question. . ." He murmured. "Okay, I'm listening." I closed my eyes, feeling the cold breeze of air.

"You said that you're having a hard time living your life in the reality right?" He first ask. "Yes... what about that?"

"Then, are you still willing to continue living just for the sake of your love ones? Or just choose to disappear once you can't take the pain anymore?" I opened my eyes as soon as I heard his question.

"That was a hard one but... I'll go with the second choice you said." My voice cracked and I felt pain in my soar throat. "How about you?"

I heard him scoffed before answering, "You shouldn't be asking me that. Because the answer was too obvious. There's no one who's willing to stay by my side even I'm at my worst. So I'll just rather disappear."

I started crying because of him. "Hey, are you crying?" He bent down the grass to check on me. I didn't face him, instead I turned my back at him. "Stop crying.."

"You're making me hate you. Stop saying those things! There will always be someone who's rooting for you to comeback, so be positive... you can survive on the things that are happening to you right now." I continue sobbing there all night.

He's silent and no words to say. I got him speechless.

I can't explain this, but every time we talk about our ill-fated lives. I can't help but to feel pain. In my case, it's okay with me to give up. It's my choice. But I just don't want others wanting to end their lives. Am I being unfair? Yea, but I'm sad especially for this guy.

This lonely guy, who only enjoys his life in this dream.

***

I woke up, feeling a bit tired. Is it because of crying all night in my dream? No way... I checked my eyes on my small mirror. Mom will not notice that I cried.

"Good morning sweetheart, I bought you a porridge. I don't have time to cook, because I still have to buy you some clothes." My mom barged in my room holding a plate.

"Clothes? What for Mom? I don't even go outside for a walk." I laughed. I grabbed the plate she's holding and started eating.

"In case you and Taehyung-ah will have a date once you're discharge. Your clothes are ready, you don't have to bother yourself buying." She giggled looking so excited.

"Mom, discharge? Seriously? I don't think I'll ever get discharge here. Don't be too excited." I sighed. "Don't say that, you'll be discharge. You just have to be strong okay?" I just nod at her. If I say more, she'll scold me to death aish.

After eating, I decided to practice my hobby. I grabbed a pencil in the drawer and a paper. I started drawing the things I can see in my dreams. Then later on, I'll practice mixing colors like what Jungkook taught me.

I heard my phone vibrating, someone's calling.

"Oh it's babe." I turned on my video. "Morning babe, have you eaten?" He asked through the video call. "Yes babe. I just finished eating. You?"

"I'm done too. What are you doing?" He took a peeked, as if he can really see what I'm doing. "I'm improving my skills in drawing. I'm bored so yea..." I laughed. "Oh that's great, show me what you draw when I came back there okay?"

"Okay babe."

"Alright, bye I love you." I mouthed the word I love you too on him and finally hang up. He have too... because he also have a work to do.