the whole first authors note i was pretty sarcastic lmao and this is the difference in reads.
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joshua's pov:
"so what have you been up to?" i asked lily. i managed to get us a reservation at our favourite restaurant after we went bowling.
"nothing much. just doing press for 'skin'," she replied, taking a bite of her pasta.
i cleared my throat awkwardly. does she have to bring up the song she wrote that's dissing my girlfriend?
"oh yeah. what made you decided to write that song by the way?"
"i just wanted to kind of tell my side of the story, ya know?"
don't say anything don't say anything don't say anything don't. say. anything.
"yeh, but don't you think it was a little..shady?"
damn it.
"i just wanted to be completely honest," she said, shrugging her shoulders and taking a sip of water.
"aren't you worried about the rumours that will come with it?"
"i don't know. i didn't really consider all of that."
'i didn't really consider all of that.' what the hell?! how can she not consider all the rumours she's starting? all the hate she's causing?
"have you received any hate for it?"
"oh definitely. it's a lot. i don't know why people are so mean. like, ok don't be mad at this, but olivia releases 'drivers license' and she gets zero hate, but i release skin and get tons of hate. i personally don't think it's fair."
is she serious right now?
"um, you're joking right?"
"no, i'm serious. people are being so mean."
"no, no not about that. about the part where you said olivia is getting no hate. that was a joke, right?"
she rolled her eyes "no."
i couldn't help but scoff "olivia has been receiving just as much hate as you, if not more. there are entire social media accounts dedicated to hating on her. she's only 22, and she has all these people coming at her. that's not fair. you're 26 and not getting anywhere near as much as she is. she can't even get excited about a performance she's doing or a feature some show did about drivers license, cus people will say she's supporting people hating on you and me. people keep trying to tear her down. and i get that you're getting hate too, and that sucks. it really does. but you wanna know the difference between you and her when it comes to receiving hate?"
"what?" she asked, looking stunned.
"she's not going around writing diss tracks. she keeps on smiling. whereas you write a full song about it trying, but failing, to subtly shading her," i snapped, standing up and grabbing my jacket off the back of my chair.
"wh- i- um you see-" she stuttered.
"that's what i thought," i said, putting 40 dollars on the table to pay for the meal and leaving the restaurant.
i immediately called olivia. i know the second i hear her voice i'll feel better.
"hey babe, everything ok?" she said, when she picked up.
"it is now. sorry i just really needed to hear your voice."
"did something happen?" she asked, concern clear in her voice.
"lunch with lily just didn't go very well."
"oh, um. did you guys.."
"no, no, of course not."
i heard her let out a sigh of relief "ok, thank god. sorry i just, well you know."
"it's fine, don't worry. i understand. are you home right now?"
"yeah, i am. why?"
"do you wanna meet up? i could really do with getting my mind off of things right now."
"sure! how about we meet at the park and have a walk around?" she suggested.
"perfect," i sighed happily.
"see you there in 10?"
"mhm, i'm leaving now."
"ok, perfect. bye!"
"bye!"
how does she always manage to make things a billion times better?
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a/n:
couple of you guys messaged me commenting on how i removed all pictures of me in my books (apart from the face reveal in ISILWY). the truth is, whenever i post a selfie as an author's note a bunch of comments are on my looks. this is absolutely fine, but a couple of the comments are aways something like "ugh i wish i was as pretty and you" or "i'd kill to look like you". the thing is, i don't want to fuel self-deprivating behavior like that by posting pictures of me.
it's cheesy, but it's true: you are all beautiful no matter what. you don't need to change yourself in any way.
just because i may look a certain way in some selfies, doesn't mean i always look like that. when i take those photos, i take them in front of a window, with freshly brushes hair, and a bit of mascara to make my eyes more defined. i'm not perfect, in fact nobody is.
so let's stop comparing ourselves to how other people look in photos 💜
