BLACK ON BLACK | TK

Chapter Twenty

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"Even when I close my eyes, I can see you so clearly
To keep regretting that I could've done better
That is not what my heart wants
I want to be with you always."

By the end of the evening, Taehyung's mind had turned into a foggy place filled with thoughts and questions that swirled around his mind in waves, which made him feel even dizzier than he already was. He hadn't drunk that much, maybe three glasses of wine, and the state of mind he was in at that moment was actually enjoyable, unlike the night he had drunk at the club. Guilt had eaten his insides then, but at that moment? There was no guilt present in his mind — only joy.

Loud laughter enveloped their table, Taehyung's own voice resonating among the numerous voices as he laughed at one of Jimin's stories from the studio. There were tears in his eyes, of joy, but the artist hadn't realized any of that, nor had he realized the blush on his cheeks or the bright smile on his face.

Of course, the gaze of the man who had been watching him for a while had gone unnoticed as well.

Jeongguk was the only one who was fully sober, courtesy of the fact that he needed to drive Taehyung home. Nevertheless, he wouldn't have tasted alcohol anyway. He hated it when it came to him drinking but he wasn't bothered by his friends doing it. They were having fun and enjoying themselves, which made Jeongguk happy as well.

Of course, most of the warmth and happiness blooming in his chest and melting in his veins was due to one particular person. Taehyung was astonishing, Jeongguk was aware of that. The artist owned beauty he couldn't exactly describe with words. Jeongguk was not a literature student, writer or poet, but he knew that not even the brightest of them would have been able to portray the beauty of Taehyung and his bright smile in words.

Taehyung was astonishing, but him laughing and smiling like that? That was a dangerous sight for Jeongguk to witness.

Due to his soberness, or maybe just because of the epiphany of his earlier self from that night, regarding his emotions, Jeongguk had also noticed things — most of them, all of them, about Taehyung.

Things like the way Taehyung had moved on the seat next to him at some point during the evening just because he couldn't hear him well or the way he played with his food while laughing. The way he grimaced when Jeongguk snatched the glass of wine from his hand so that he wouldn't get completely wasted but let him take it nonetheless, a smile adorning his face as he playfully rolled his eyes.

Jeongguk felt like he had developed tunnel vision — his eyes couldn't drift away from Taehyung even when other people called his name and asked him questions he didn't exactly hear. Maybe it was due to his earlier revelation or maybe he's always been that way — entranced by Taehyung. He didn't know but he was sure that, after that night, there was no going back for him.

And he couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not. Because, despite what fate had decided for him, there were more walls holding them apart. The lies Jeongguk lived in, the lies he was telling himself through the ink on his body — those were walls forced of iron and sorrow and he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to crumble them down.

Gulping, Jeongguk got rid of his thoughts and lowered his gaze to Taehyung's long fingers. There were slim rings on them, each more beautiful than the other. Some had a small colored stone while some only had different engravings on them. The golden color of them contrasted with Jeongguk's chunky silver rings but, despite the differences between them, Taehyung's rings felt familiar. And, after gazing at them for a few more seconds with his brows lowered into a frown, Jeongguk realized why.