Linked To You II

LTY II: V. Wonder

Guys, thank you for waiting for me to come back again. I have been really busy on a lot of things lately. And hopefully, the results of all of the business and sacrifices will be good. Thank you again for waiting! You are my strength guys! Love you!

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Jeonghan

Staring at the ocean from this cliff never feels the same. It feels so lonely and lifeless like me. I used to look at this view with her. She used to stand beside me where I used to sneak at staring her breathtaking side profile. I always admire my wife's features but sadly I wasn't able to enjoy every bit of those because I always think that I am making a sin on Sowon.

I just couldn't help but bit my lips because tears are threatening to roll down. I just remembered how happy Yanika is during our first date here, I mean that was unexpected date and even a forced one. Because you know, I was thinking that it's the only way that could do to make up with her. If I only knew I would lose her that time, I should have my time with her genuinely and I should have figured out what I was really feeling for her. I should have made her the happiest girl. But I was an asshole and it's too late.

I was a jerk, selfish of everything. I didn't see that she's suffering because all I fed myself was everything is fine with her. Yanika was just too good in hiding her pains from me and everyone else. However, that's not an excuse for me not to see it, right?

I was too ignorant.

I felt so lost right now. I can't even think properly. I just realized that I have lost her for a year now and the pain was too striking. I just realized I lost a year of my life. Fuck this!

I am missing her annoying presence and everything about her. I just realized I was really dumb because I allowed to lose the most unexpected and most precious gift God has given me.

Yanika has never showed weakness infront of me. As much as she can, she has to be strong. Not only that it's her personality but because she has to do it for me to be strong too. I only saw her get weak, and that's because I was a jackass to grimace at her and doubt her loyalty at their resort. I didn't realize that I was actually envious of Joshua that time. I let her cry and get in that island alone.

The reason why I was trembling bad when I saw her lifeless in the sand.