Linked To You II

LTY II: Time

>> Yanika Neda Chan Alvarez💋 <<

Can't sleep for almost two weeks now because of how my mother stirred up my mind and all of my senses. I didn't realize it, not even before. What I understood now is how love changes you into someone else. It can be a better version of yourself or the other way around. Thinking of it makes me laugh at myself because the brave and strong girl was now a weak and cowardly lady. I did change.

Yes, I did confess to him but I didn't declare my love for him. I wanted compliments but more importantly, I love criticisms because it helps me grow and it helps me to see what's wrong. I was a big baby when I left Jeonghan. I ran away because I thought it was right so I never really tell him what I felt. I thought it was wrong to destroy something. Something that doesn't belong to me, was ethics for me because I didn't know how he also felt for me. But I should have just told him what I have carried so I can immediately adjust myself to whatever that decision is.

I was in my loggia laughing at all the things I have been through. I was a weakling. Holy crap!

I was sitting on the recliner waiting for the sun to rise. The breeze was just nice. I missed this tropical vibe of my country. I miss this scenery, the view of my home. I love it here. I do love it here. The birds chirping and the greens that surround my house.

"Good morning, mommy," I was greeted lively but the twins. I saw them walking towards me while they were rubbing their eyes. Still sleepy because it is still early. They have been like this for the past days, walking to me in the veranda of my room. They just know where to find their mom.

I opened my arms and they immediately hugged me after waking up. The twins have been sleeping by my side because they never wanted me to have nightmares.

"Good morning mi niña and mi niño," I smiled at them trying to hide my exhaustion. Both climbed up to me and sit on my lap – my Shielo at my right and Seraph at the left. They leaned on me too because I was sitting on a lounger. They are pretty heavy now and I am afraid to blink my eyes because they are growing so fast.

"Mommy, you look so tired," my Shielo caressed at my cheeks making Raph looked at my face too.

"Mommy hasn't been sleeping well, baby sis. What's bothering you, mom? Please tell us honestly," they asked making my stomach turn upside down. Before it was Shielo, now it was Seraph who noticed it.

I sighed. "That's a deep one mom," Shielo commented.

"Mommy is just thinking of something," I told them but not wanting to open the conversation about it. I haven't been sleeping well because I keep dreaming about him. Because of what my mom said, I can't sleep thinking I should have done better or the what-ifs.

"Is it about daddy again, mommy?" Shielo is really nosy.

I chuckled as they always know that their dad is always my problem. "I am thinking about him lately but he is not the problem. It's mommy," I genuinely answered while they were leaning on me and hugging me tightly.

"What about you, mommy? Are you thinking that you weren't enough for us or daddy? Is daddy cheating on you? That's why we hadn't seen him in years - since we were born?" I was shocked by the judgment.

"No. Of course, your daddy loves you. But mommy isn't sure if mommy is enough for you both?" I asked them and kissed both of their cheeks. "Do you want to meet him?" I smiled brightly and told them. They instantly look at me due to surprise and excitement.

I saw the contemplation in their eyes. "If he is hurting you mom, I'd rather not to," my Seraph is just too selfless.

"No. It's okay, baby. Don't mind mommy. All I want to know is that do you want to meet your dad?" I urged them.