Linked To You II

LTY II: Nauseating

>>Yoon, Jeonghan<<

April and Atty. Alexandrya arrived before I took my leave. I felt at ease when they appear at the family home of Yanika, at least I am now sure that they have someone with them that will keep them safe.

Shielo told us everything before she went to bed. She told us that her mommy should at least know what exactly happened.

With her photographic memory, she told us every single detail that we should know. She said that they were there to pick up their mommy Yanika. It took a while because they arrived early at the event's place so they ask their papa Henry to buy them ice cream at the nearest convenience store because they were bored. Shielo remembers falling asleep for a moment but she was awakened by her brother, Seraph, and told her to run when he opens up the door with the reminder that she should do it as fast as she can and reminded her of what they were taught. She said she was curious as to why but then she realized that there were guys who were approaching their car and Henry wasn't there yet to protect them.

They also saw those guys following them before they arrived at the location. Shielo did what she was told and looked for a place with many people so she can save herself. She didn't go to her papa Henry because there was a guy who was in that direction too. She ran and ran until she reached the party hall where she saw her mommy. Shielo cried because she was afraid as to what happened to her brother and her papa Henry.

The twins were born with so many skills. I can say they are smart just like their mom and wise at such a young age. Yanika told me that they have been trained to defend themselves early for emergency purposes like that. And Seraph was a mature thinker trying to protect his little sister too. That's so sweet and caring of him.

Instead of making my way home, I drove to our unit which is now fully renovated and fully furnished. I walk to this same door where we usually walk together before. Everything looks new because I hired someone to renew the home and maintain it while I was gone for the military and it looks fine but it still feels so empty.

It's emptier than before because I am now seeing her happy with her family. I'm losing every hope that I have with me at this point.

I don't really know now.

Am I suppose to be happy?

But it hurts like hell that I don't think I could even sleep.

I messaged Cheol that I will not go home. I even send my location because that's always the requirement when I am gone home since I lost my mind when I lost Yanika. I walk towards the fridge and took out some beer there. I always stock things here because I always come here when I have time. I have to drink or else I can't sleep thinking of all the things that just happened today.

I don't know how much alcohol did I consume but I was able to crawl to the master's bedroom. I will sleep with the pain though I know this will just be temporary and tomorrow when I wake up, I will just feel the same.

Lost...

And

Empty.

I am a coward. I know I am stupid for not seeing those years ago and maybe I deserve this. Maybe I deserve to be unhappy. I deserve to be sad. I deserve all the pain and agony.

I just chuckled while staring at the ceiling, I felt like I am seeing Yanika's face looking really worried at me. I caressed her cheeks and it feels more real.

I am a mess.

I am drunk and messed up. I grabbed her nape and kiss her. If this is a dream, I should take all my chances to at least hold her in my arms and do all the things, I should have done before.