Elements

52. late nights

I wake to a dark room. I turn over and look out the window realizing it's still dark out. Ugh.

I look over and see Malek still asleep beside me soundly, he looks so peaceful. I had a really hard time falling asleep and now I can't stay asleep? Perfect.

I slowly raise out of the bed going to the washroom before crawling back into the bed softly, making sure I don't wake him.

It has to be at least 20 minutes now that has past that I find myself staring up at the ceiling aimlessly. Shit.

I slowly crawl back out of the bed before crossing the room, gripping the door handle securely before exiting out into the hall, trying not to wake him.

I walk down the quite hall out to the kitchen before grabbing a glass from the cupboard and running water from the tap into it.

"Can't sleep?" I hear from across the room and my heart beats out of my chest as I almost drop my glass.

"Holy shit" I say under my breath as Jeremy looks at me from the couch. I forgot he was out here.

"Yeah" I say still calming down as my heart races.

"Me too" he says standing from the couch, moving across the room towards me. "What do you think of.. everything" he says leaning up against the island across from me

"I don't know" I say looking down at my glass. "I feel really divided" I say honestly

"Same" he says nodding.

"I feel like.." I start slowly "because I was imprisoned for the same thing I know how helpless it is"

"I just feel like if we can help we should, but how do we do it without getting captured ourselves?" I say and he nods in agreement

"I can't sit still knowing what I know and not doing anything, clearly isn't the popular opinion around here" he says and I nod

"I feel like we have to do it anyways" he says and I agree

"I know" I say softly agreeing

"Those are my people you know, it's like if you where out and Malek, Jesse and Aaron where locked up" he says and my heart aches at the thought. I'd do anything to try and get them out, I wouldn't be here without them. I wouldn't have made it through everything without Them.

"At least I know I got you on our side" he says

"Who's "our side"" I ask confused

"Willow, Holly, Aaron, Cliff, and you" he say. "And of course Violet" he adds and I nod

"Go to bed though, it's late" Jeremy says with a smile and I nod again before placing the cup in the sink, walking back to the hall.

As I'm walking I see cliffs door open as he starts walking towards me in the hallway, grinning when he sees me before looking down. It's only now I remember I'm only in an over sized t shirt.

"What are you doing up" he says quietly before blocking me in the hallway

"Couldn't sleep" I say without making eye contact and he nods

"What's your take on the news" he asks and I finally look up at him already knowing he's on our side.

"I think something has to be done" and he grins nodding.

"And pretty boy?" He asks insultingly

"Not so much" I say and he nods

"Not very surprised" he says staring down at me in the dark small hallway

"He's worried about our safety" I say defending his reasoning which is valid

"Isn't it a little patronizing, he doesn't think you can defend yourself" he says and I try not to read too deep into it.

"I'm tired" I say quickly passing over the comment he just made

"Yeah you should probably get back to him, he'll probably come looking for me swinging if you don't" he says with a grin

"Honestly, you'd probably be lucky if that's all he came at you with" I say and he laughs.

"Probably" he grins stepping out of the way letting me past.

"don't be scared to dream of me, now" he says as I walk past with a grin on his face. I can't tell if he even likes me or if he just likes completing with Malek

I ignore his comment entering back into the bedroom before walking over to the bed.

I watch Malek as I crawl in beside him realizing he looks distressed, his brow furrowed. He mumbles something I can't make out, is he having another nightmare?

I rest my hand on his arm and as I do he immediately wakes up launching himself up out of breath

"Are you okay?" I ask watching him as comes back down from it

"Yeah" he says sliding out of the bed before walking across the room into the washroom before shutting the door behind him? He was having a nightmare?

"Malek" I call out but he doesn't respond, knowing how private he is and how he reacted last time with the nightmares I decide to give him space, resting down into the bed waiting for him.

5 or so minutes pass of silence when I hear him open the door before walking towards the bed.

I stay quiet watching him as he rests back into the bed, seeing that I'm still awake but he doesn't say anything.

"Malek?" I say looking over to him as he stares up at the ceiling but he doesn't respond, clenching his jaw.

"This too, huh?" He says after a moment reference me making a comment about him actually sharing things with me. My heart aches for him with how closed off he's became, he would never tell anyone anything if I wasn't here. It's so unhealthy.

"I.." he starts after a long silence. "I get flashbacks sometimes" he says and I stay quiet beside him letting him talk

"Not as much anymore" he adds and I nod

"What are they?" I ask and I watch as his jaw clenches in response as he runs his hand through his hair.

"My mother" he says after a moment

He pauses for a long while, I can tell he's going to keep talking but is being very very careful with his words.

"She.." he starts. "I've just been around too much I'm my life for things to faze me anymore" he says never looking over to me

"I'm sorry" I say softly and he lets out a small laugh but I don't know what's funny.

"Don't" he says after a moment still not looking over at me.

"Did she keep contact with you in prison?" I ask softly. If I don't ask specific questions I'll never get anything out of him.

"She's dead Ivy" he says and I can see the slightest tears forming in his eyes making them glassy as he looks up at the ceiling

"I'm sorry" I say softly reaching my hand out and resting it against his as he lays it against his stomach.

He finally looks over at me before looking up at the ceiling again, he doesn't move his hand under mine and I was honestly sure he might.

"Yeah" he says after a moment and I can tell he was very close to his mother

"Malek?" I ask softly, praying I'm not about to cross a line

"Yeah?" He says after a moment

"What happened that sent you to prison?" I say and I can feel him tense under my hand