Hikikomori (ひきこもり)

Chapter 14

Sweat pounded down my face as my body flung forward, making me sit up in my bed. Grabbing my phone from under my pillow, it read

4:45

I just had a nightmare. More like a vision of my own hell. It was of my mother. She looked at me from here coffin. She seemed... Alive. Her arm raised up towards me, me quickly repeating the same action. Just as we were about to touch, I was dragged away, by a man who I assumed to be my father. I don't remember ever seeing my father so this figure had a black bag over his head, with holes for eyes. Before I knew it he had dragged me back to my childhood playground, where the horrible sight of him slaughtering my friends replayed over and over. He killed them one by one until he came to a little boy with Brown hair and hazel eyes.
Timothy.
I hurled my body forward, racing out to safe my little brother but it was too late. I watch in agony as he snapped his small neck, and Timothy's once life full eyes drained into a dark pit of black. I lung forward to cradle his broken body in my arms, but as soon as I was about to touch him, everything disappeared; and I was left to face my biggest fear.
Two
Being alone

I exhaled a breath trying to push my night terrors to the back of my mind. It's been a while since I've had bad dreams like this, the last time I had a dream like this was straight after my mother died.
The light from the moon shinning through the windows, was enough for me to see around the room. My eyes land on a boy, wrapped in layers of a duvet. His head resting in the middle of the pillow. A smile creeps on my face as he twists in his sleep so he is now facing me, which caused my smile to instantly fade.
He has to sleep the floor because of me and even though he might now admit it but it's my fault and I will never be able to forgive myself until he is fine again.
I rest my head on my pillow, closing my eyes as my head makes contact; and force myself into sleep, ready for what tomorrow is going to throw at me.

***

The sound of my alarm crying, wakes me from my slumber. I open my eyes only to instantly shut them, due to the sunlight radiating from my window. After my eyes adjust to the rays, they instantly widen in fear as Adam wasn't in the bed a blankets, which he was last night. Negative thoughts instantly flood my mind. What could have happened to him?. Maybe aunt Jenna found him and kicked him out. And now he was left trapped in the winters cold streets, in his pajamas. What if he decided he had enough of me, constantly clinging to him, visiting him everyday after work and making him lose his job has only pushed him over the edge and he had got enough of me and left.

My subconscious grew heavier as i made my way down the stairs, heading straight to the kitchen. Confusion laced my mind as the scent of fresh pancakes filled my nose. Aunt Jenna should have left for work by now, unless she was waiting in the kitchen to tell me off for letting a boy stay over in my room.

I released a deep breath, I didn't even know i was holding; when jet black hair came into my sight. Adam. A smile stamped against my face at the sight of Adam, scooping a bunch of pancakes onto timothy's plate, sharing a high five between them before he began to fry more of the batter in the neon pink bowl.

"Morning." I called whilst finally entering the kitchen after spying on the two from outside.

"Morning beautiful " Adam smiled, whilst handing me a plate full of pancakes. I smiled before digging into the pancakes. They tasted amazing.

"whats got you in such a good mood this morning after 9 hours of sleeping on my floor" I Joked before shoving a mouthful of pancakes down my throat.

"My mum called this morning and said she wanted to meet with me, about helping me buy my own apartment " he spoke, happiness swimming in his voice.

"That's amazing!" I cried pulling him into a hug, which he tightly responded.