[Book 1 in the Chaos series]
The Theory of Kayden:
- frontman of before the chaos
- typical bad boy
- grade a jackass
- caffeine addict
- my utter weakness
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Photography was my life, hence why I jumped at the chance to travel the country with m...
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\\ you asked me how i feel
i say nothin'
but lately colors seem so bright
and the stars light up the night
my feet they feel so light
i'm ignoring all the signs \\
kat dahlia - i think i'm in love
[][][][][][]
Withdrawal symptoms.
Those are the only two words that describe how I'm feeling at the moment. I reckon this is how an addict feels when their addiction is torn away from them. I'm the addict and Kade is my addiction.
I woke up this morning in his arms, our legs tangled with my head on his chest. It was nothing short of perfect. It just sucks that it couldn't last.
I knew having one more night together was the worst thing we could've done. It makes so much more logical sense to just have ended things there and then but then again, what part of love is logical?
The answer is none. Nothing about being hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Kayden Forrester is logical. He's completely against everything I've ever thought my type is. He's trouble with a capital 'T'. He's not a certainty. He's in a band, for Christ's sake. Who would've thought that I'd fall in love with a fucking rockstar? Not me.
I think I realised exactly how I felt yesterday on the roof but after leaving his bed this morning? It all became crystal clear. I love him more than I know how to.
When I was sixteen, I got together with Matt. We were never friends first. We went to different schools and met at a summer carnival, hitting it off instantly. I thought I loved him.
That was nothing to what I'm feeling now. With Kade, all my feelings are hyped up to a million. The love, the hate, and everything in between. It's all just too intense and I don't know how to cope with it right now.
I wish we didn't get off on the wrong foot. I wish we just stopped being so stubborn and see what our arguments really were - really bright fucking sparks. At least then, we could've given this a shot. Now, we're nothing.
We can't be friends again. Not after what happened. I can't sit there with him, all friend-like, knowing that I can't touch him or kiss him.
I need a really big fucking distraction.
With a sigh, I lean down off my bed and grab my laptop and my camera. I decide it's probably time to sort out the thousands of photos I've taken since the start of the tour, most of them not actually during any shows.
