Rule #3: Changing The Rules

[30]

Chapter 30

I stared at the night sky, silently hoping for a miracle to come. Na kahit isa manlang sa mga dasal ko ay matupad. Na bigyan ako kahit isang araw lang para makapagisip at magkaroon ng buhay na walang problema.

Pagod na ako. Akala ko, kung babalik na ako rito ay matatahimik na ako ulit. But I was wrong. Going back here was a mistake. Hindi na dapat ako bumalik dahil puro gulo lang ang nandito. I came back to where it all started, to where my life slowly started falling apart.

"Arden's asleep?"

Binuksan ni Kuya ang glass doors bago tumabi sa akin rito. Pumikit ako at niyakap ang mga unan sa katabing upuan. I still feel tired, there's too much going on in my brain and I can't process everything.

"Yeah, he asked me about his Daddy," I sighed.

Ngumisi si Kuya at nailing. He handed over a juice that I gladly accepted and drank. Sumandal ulit ako sa bamboo na upuan at niyakap ito.

"Malamang, hahanapin niya ang kamukha niya. He looks nothing like us, matalino pa naman yang anak mo at mana sayo."

"He'll never see his father. I set that to a stone." umirap ako at pumikit ulit.

Bakit pa? Pinalaki ko siya ng tama. I am confident that I am doing a good job as his mother and I don't need any men or any assistance from anyone. Pampagulo lang ang mga yan, kayang-kaya ko palakihin ang anak ko ng walang tulong ng iba.

I may have had him when I was still young and clueless about motherhood, but he grew up just fine to me. May mga batang kaya naman lumaki ng tama kahit walang ama at sigurado akong ganon ang anak ko.

Tumango-tango si Kuya. Ininom niya ang juice na hawak at nilapag iyon sa coffee table sa harap namin. I miss chilling out here in the balcony, sobrang relaxing lang.

"Don't you think you're being selfish?" My brother carefully asked, brows raised up while fixing his sleeves.

I thought about that before. Arden seemed determined to meet his father, kahit na wala naman siyang alam na kahit ano tungkol dito. He asks me for his full name, picture, favorites and even his career. Alam ko naman ang lahat ng yan, pero ayoko ng dagdagan pa ang alam niya tungkol sa Daddy niya. It's enough for him to know his first name and that he bears the same color of his eyes.

It's not like I search about him, anyway. Wala na akong pakialam sa gagong yon. Kahit lumuhod pa siya at magmakaawa sa akin.

"No," I answered.

"Pero gusto ng anak mong makilala siya. Hindi mo ba pwedeng ipakilala lang tapos takasan mo na?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "And live my life, running away from him, again? Ayoko nga! He has invaded my life so much already! Ayokong pati career ko ititigil ko para sa kanya?"

Kuya chuckled.

"Well, do you have any option on how to handle that, huh? Isang tingin lang sa anak mo, alam mo na agad ang ama. Makita lang yan ng ibang tao, iisa lang ang iisipin nila."

That's the reason why I was being extra careful. I did all the necessary measures to prevent anyone from knowing the truth about Ardie.

He started schooling this year, but I home-schooled him. Pwede lang siyang lumabas pag ako ang kasama o si Kuya. He's not allowed to roam around the village and the only time I allow him to go out is when we're at a far-away place.

Ginawa ko lang naman ang lahat ng iyon para protektahan siya. No one from my friends knew about him, except Janelle, Lia and Kale. Sila lang ang nasabihan ko dahil mahirap na kung marami pa ang may alam.